Thank you for this post, Nedra. I often hesitate or feel bad about declining invitations and requests from others because I think I’m being “mean.” I’ve had too many experiences of others becoming upset or expressing anger when I’ve set boundaries with them. I dread the responses of displeasure, but I continue to practice being clear about my boundaries despite them. I don’t tend to be aggressive, but being assertive has been a real learning curve for me.
This is awesome. Thank you Nedra! I grew up being taught to speak in an aggressive manner and as I grew older I made sure to be kind. Yet tact wasn't easy for me. Now I'm able to assert myself without being blunt. However, some in my life need me to speak directly blunt to them for them to understand what is being conveyed. Any advice on how to speak to someone with childhood abuse issue's in a tactfully direct manner without aggressive behavior? How do you change tune when your patience is tested and you're not being heard and try to verbally redirect so you are heard?, or hope to speak assertively when learning how to unlearn passive aggressive communication style?
I completely agree. We live in the clap back and shade era. We often respond with the hurt and anger that we've felt with those nagging, often shady, and embarrassing questions. Developing the skill to shut conversations down in a respectful manner takes some practice. I caught your segment on the Today Show and liked how you mentioned we should practice our responses. We know that we are likely to be asked certain questions, why not be prepared with how we'd like to respond?
I get my share of mean and snarky comments on IG and by email. At times, I've went as far as typing something up, sitting with my words, and later erasing the response. It feels good to get it out even if it for my eyes only.
Thanks for this - it is really helpful. I would like to know more about passive aggression. How do we ensure that our boundary - such as I am bringing food - isn’t just a form of quiet aggression and do you have any tips or suggestions if it is interpreted that way.
Love your writing and recommendations. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for this post, Nedra. I often hesitate or feel bad about declining invitations and requests from others because I think I’m being “mean.” I’ve had too many experiences of others becoming upset or expressing anger when I’ve set boundaries with them. I dread the responses of displeasure, but I continue to practice being clear about my boundaries despite them. I don’t tend to be aggressive, but being assertive has been a real learning curve for me.
This is awesome. Thank you Nedra! I grew up being taught to speak in an aggressive manner and as I grew older I made sure to be kind. Yet tact wasn't easy for me. Now I'm able to assert myself without being blunt. However, some in my life need me to speak directly blunt to them for them to understand what is being conveyed. Any advice on how to speak to someone with childhood abuse issue's in a tactfully direct manner without aggressive behavior? How do you change tune when your patience is tested and you're not being heard and try to verbally redirect so you are heard?, or hope to speak assertively when learning how to unlearn passive aggressive communication style?
Loved this article - thanks for sharing
I completely agree. We live in the clap back and shade era. We often respond with the hurt and anger that we've felt with those nagging, often shady, and embarrassing questions. Developing the skill to shut conversations down in a respectful manner takes some practice. I caught your segment on the Today Show and liked how you mentioned we should practice our responses. We know that we are likely to be asked certain questions, why not be prepared with how we'd like to respond?
I get my share of mean and snarky comments on IG and by email. At times, I've went as far as typing something up, sitting with my words, and later erasing the response. It feels good to get it out even if it for my eyes only.
Yep it needs to be expressed out of us even if only to us.
Thanks for this - it is really helpful. I would like to know more about passive aggression. How do we ensure that our boundary - such as I am bringing food - isn’t just a form of quiet aggression and do you have any tips or suggestions if it is interpreted that way.
Such an important message—and so clearly delivered. Thanks!
This is great!