I am struggling with several situations in my life abusive partners and growing up with a mother that detached from me at birth and she never told me she love me and told not to say it to her she doesn't like it 😭 so
Thank you for this. I'm wrestling with whether to stay or go with a particular friendship I have. I've finally seen the truth of the situation. The patterns keep repeating, and in all likelihood they will not change. The truth is that I'm not fully ready to let go.
Going no contact with my own mother has been so difficult and so necessary… as she messaged me for my birthday on Monday I felt this familiar pull and had to remain strong in my boundaries for I know she isn’t going to change. I know it hurts her but not enough to change which hurts me even more. 😮💨😟😔
For me there has to be accountability for the behaviour. Call it repentance if you like or an acknowledgement that there has been hurt/harm caused. Perhaps then there can be reconciliation and finally trust can be restored.
Thank you, Nedra. I so appreciate your message in this newsletter. That you accept people staying in challenging relationships if it feels right for them is refreshing, validating and empowering. I feel like so much of the advice and even expectation these days is that if unhealthy behaviors are identified, then the identifier must leave the relationship. Like all relationships could ever be that basic, and like the perfectly healthy person and relationship even exists.
"It’s also important to acknowledge that you might not yet be ready to leave the relationship behind. You may continue to tolerate problematic behaviors until you are ready for a change. In therapy, I’ve noticed that people often hesitate to discuss bad relationships until they feel prepared to make a change"Change.
There's a relationship I recently left and I'm proud of myself for choosing to be a healed woman not an abused woman. Granted that guilty feeling of what did I do when I really wanted this relationship is REAL. But I know that emotionally it's abusive to myself to stay waiting to be chosen despite being loved by this person. But it's like this person's idea of love is distorted by the things he chooses but also my needs getting met are important and he's like my dad and I'm in a healing growth spurt to the point of I'm ready to join a CoDA group TODAY! Sometimes we make the hard choices but there's nothing more rewarding then choosing ourselves over seeming comfort . But that guilt attachment is REAL. But it's only fear bug the peace that results is DEEP. It's another form of internal self intimacy to be proud of.
I am struggling with several situations in my life abusive partners and growing up with a mother that detached from me at birth and she never told me she love me and told not to say it to her she doesn't like it 😭 so
Thank you for this. I'm wrestling with whether to stay or go with a particular friendship I have. I've finally seen the truth of the situation. The patterns keep repeating, and in all likelihood they will not change. The truth is that I'm not fully ready to let go.
Thank you! I appreciate your time.
Going no contact with my own mother has been so difficult and so necessary… as she messaged me for my birthday on Monday I felt this familiar pull and had to remain strong in my boundaries for I know she isn’t going to change. I know it hurts her but not enough to change which hurts me even more. 😮💨😟😔
I truly understand and appreciate reading your message 🙏💪
For me there has to be accountability for the behaviour. Call it repentance if you like or an acknowledgement that there has been hurt/harm caused. Perhaps then there can be reconciliation and finally trust can be restored.
A great reminder as someone whose family keep making bad choices.
Very validating, thank you
Thank you, Nedra. I so appreciate your message in this newsletter. That you accept people staying in challenging relationships if it feels right for them is refreshing, validating and empowering. I feel like so much of the advice and even expectation these days is that if unhealthy behaviors are identified, then the identifier must leave the relationship. Like all relationships could ever be that basic, and like the perfectly healthy person and relationship even exists.
There can be unhealthy behaviours and there can be toxic ones which are damaging. The challenge is knowing the difference.
Feels like you wrote that for me directly, about my father. Every newsletter is deep inner growth for me. Your magic. Thankyou
Nedra this!!! Yasss!!
"It’s also important to acknowledge that you might not yet be ready to leave the relationship behind. You may continue to tolerate problematic behaviors until you are ready for a change. In therapy, I’ve noticed that people often hesitate to discuss bad relationships until they feel prepared to make a change"Change.
There's a relationship I recently left and I'm proud of myself for choosing to be a healed woman not an abused woman. Granted that guilty feeling of what did I do when I really wanted this relationship is REAL. But I know that emotionally it's abusive to myself to stay waiting to be chosen despite being loved by this person. But it's like this person's idea of love is distorted by the things he chooses but also my needs getting met are important and he's like my dad and I'm in a healing growth spurt to the point of I'm ready to join a CoDA group TODAY! Sometimes we make the hard choices but there's nothing more rewarding then choosing ourselves over seeming comfort . But that guilt attachment is REAL. But it's only fear bug the peace that results is DEEP. It's another form of internal self intimacy to be proud of.
Thank you for this reminder that it's our choice to make
Are there other options to get the 30 day besides through Audible? I saw it was an audible original but thought it was worth the ask.