Thanks Brittany! The last part of your comment starting with Friendships and the depth of intimacy really touched me and it is definitely taking time to grieve and heal. I think our keep in touch for now will be through social media if that. I tried to call one time and the person did not answer or return the call. The hardest part is that I am not really sure what happened to cause the person to never respond to me again and I am a very self-aware person. I need to give myself closure, move on and relish in the memories and good times. Life is definitely too short.
I just spoke on this topic to my ex- now friend and how it's a good thing to be able to like and love someone at the same time . These poignant self probing questions are fantastic! I've learned to love from afar and to utilize specific parts of them that enhance the parts of my personality that produces positivity and etc. There are times I love someone and they irk me to provocation and it makes me dislike them for the provocation of the internal challenge they present to themselves and I. Resolution of Differences and conflict teach us about our internal growth and the level of compatibility we have with someone, but also the traits that attracted us to them in the 1st place that we needed for balance in our lifestyles enhancement. Managing our expectations of our comforts of being alike is where our downfall lies. And I appreciate the difference of definition regarding "having" to be in relationships vs. "Choosing". My journey teaches me as of now that we make choices- its ours and our responsibility for how we choose to show up in relationships and taking accountability vs projecting our unresolved issues , and blame shift on others when they don't take accountability, then we have a choice to stay despite the self awareness to leave and people pleasing, historical comforts and familiarity that can be our barrier to our growth. At times self evaluation of eliminating what causes us frustration and discouragement or elevating peace is a choice.
This is really good and something I learned later on in life. It's ok to have your own interests and not to try and force them onto other people or vice versa. It's about accepting people for who they are without trying to change them. I love to read but my hubby has only read about half a dozen books in his life! I love mini series but he loves history. If we were all the same life would be boring. I grew up in a family where "sharing" the same interests was seen as mandatory but you don't develop a sense of self.
That's beautiful. A gentleman I courted years ago reached back out and I told him how grateful I was for him never changing me or projecting his expectations of me ,but valuing me for my interests and positive traits and it makes a difference in how we show up as people and the willingness of accepted exposure in our daily experiences
I enjoy reading your nuggets. This hit home for me as I have found myself challenged with engaging with someone who allows mistreatment in their relationship. I've distanced myself and been in prayer for them often. Each time I think of the disappointment I just pray to counter that thought. It's all I can do that will benefit us both..
I always love your essays - they are so clear and practical and loving. This one was a particularly lovely reminder that loving people is much easier when you focus on what you love and play to those strengths.
This is such an on point article!! Thank you. This is something God loved on me deeply in teaching. My biggest take away and help was realizing there are those who do the same for me willingly and lovingly 🩷Thank you Nedra.
This really hit home for me. I've often struggled with finding the balance between accepting someone for who they are and compromising on things that are important to me. It's a delicate dance, and I'm still learning how to navigate it gracefully. Sometimes, loving someone means loving them from a distance, and that's okay.
I ended a 22 year friendship and it was hard and yet we are still cordial and pick up where we left off when we do speak. But, we ensure changes in self discovery, we become educated on our values,wants, and needs ,we find our balance and boundaries. And yet the time we put into ourselves to rediscover ourselves helps cope, along with Journaling, therapy, stages of grief, and exercise. I've found to be my experience and still enjoying the good memories and enjoying the lessons we need. It's easy to forget we were individuals when we met then became so involved in the other person's world we need time to re-evaluate our personal identity and what caused our identity to become so enmeshed or taken over by the other person's needs and the things wrong gave way to compromising our own balance. But don't let anyone tell you to get over it. Friendships that have such great depth of intimacy take time to grieve and heal until we're ready to move on with the better version of ourselves and others based on our wellness at that time we attract. But still keep in touch with the person from afar and never forget the values and lessons of the friendship. I hope this helps as someone whose overcome this recently.
As someone with strained family relationships, I definitely practice loving people whilst remaining unattached! It's a challenge, but well worth it so as not to get caught up in the drama.
I can use prompts in this post for every single important person in my life! What you're doing here is marvelous!
Thanks Brittany! The last part of your comment starting with Friendships and the depth of intimacy really touched me and it is definitely taking time to grieve and heal. I think our keep in touch for now will be through social media if that. I tried to call one time and the person did not answer or return the call. The hardest part is that I am not really sure what happened to cause the person to never respond to me again and I am a very self-aware person. I need to give myself closure, move on and relish in the memories and good times. Life is definitely too short.
I just spoke on this topic to my ex- now friend and how it's a good thing to be able to like and love someone at the same time . These poignant self probing questions are fantastic! I've learned to love from afar and to utilize specific parts of them that enhance the parts of my personality that produces positivity and etc. There are times I love someone and they irk me to provocation and it makes me dislike them for the provocation of the internal challenge they present to themselves and I. Resolution of Differences and conflict teach us about our internal growth and the level of compatibility we have with someone, but also the traits that attracted us to them in the 1st place that we needed for balance in our lifestyles enhancement. Managing our expectations of our comforts of being alike is where our downfall lies. And I appreciate the difference of definition regarding "having" to be in relationships vs. "Choosing". My journey teaches me as of now that we make choices- its ours and our responsibility for how we choose to show up in relationships and taking accountability vs projecting our unresolved issues , and blame shift on others when they don't take accountability, then we have a choice to stay despite the self awareness to leave and people pleasing, historical comforts and familiarity that can be our barrier to our growth. At times self evaluation of eliminating what causes us frustration and discouragement or elevating peace is a choice.
This is really good and something I learned later on in life. It's ok to have your own interests and not to try and force them onto other people or vice versa. It's about accepting people for who they are without trying to change them. I love to read but my hubby has only read about half a dozen books in his life! I love mini series but he loves history. If we were all the same life would be boring. I grew up in a family where "sharing" the same interests was seen as mandatory but you don't develop a sense of self.
That's beautiful. A gentleman I courted years ago reached back out and I told him how grateful I was for him never changing me or projecting his expectations of me ,but valuing me for my interests and positive traits and it makes a difference in how we show up as people and the willingness of accepted exposure in our daily experiences
I enjoy reading your nuggets. This hit home for me as I have found myself challenged with engaging with someone who allows mistreatment in their relationship. I've distanced myself and been in prayer for them often. Each time I think of the disappointment I just pray to counter that thought. It's all I can do that will benefit us both..
Thank your for this!
I always love your essays - they are so clear and practical and loving. This one was a particularly lovely reminder that loving people is much easier when you focus on what you love and play to those strengths.
Live this
Love this! ❤️💯
This is such an on point article!! Thank you. This is something God loved on me deeply in teaching. My biggest take away and help was realizing there are those who do the same for me willingly and lovingly 🩷Thank you Nedra.
This really hit home for me. I've often struggled with finding the balance between accepting someone for who they are and compromising on things that are important to me. It's a delicate dance, and I'm still learning how to navigate it gracefully. Sometimes, loving someone means loving them from a distance, and that's okay.
Great advice! Thanks for sharing your nuggets 🙏🏾✨
Great article! I am learning how to unattach from a friendship that ended after 35 plus years.
I ended a 22 year friendship and it was hard and yet we are still cordial and pick up where we left off when we do speak. But, we ensure changes in self discovery, we become educated on our values,wants, and needs ,we find our balance and boundaries. And yet the time we put into ourselves to rediscover ourselves helps cope, along with Journaling, therapy, stages of grief, and exercise. I've found to be my experience and still enjoying the good memories and enjoying the lessons we need. It's easy to forget we were individuals when we met then became so involved in the other person's world we need time to re-evaluate our personal identity and what caused our identity to become so enmeshed or taken over by the other person's needs and the things wrong gave way to compromising our own balance. But don't let anyone tell you to get over it. Friendships that have such great depth of intimacy take time to grieve and heal until we're ready to move on with the better version of ourselves and others based on our wellness at that time we attract. But still keep in touch with the person from afar and never forget the values and lessons of the friendship. I hope this helps as someone whose overcome this recently.
I think sometimes we grow and they don't. Our values change and some relationships fall away. Still painful though.
So very true. Some times you think you will be friends forever and just like that, it is over.
As someone with strained family relationships, I definitely practice loving people whilst remaining unattached! It's a challenge, but well worth it so as not to get caught up in the drama.