I love how this relates to 'letting go' of some things that we seem to hold on to for long sometimes. Sometimes, it's okay to let go of rigidity when it comes to building and maintaining relationships. The bottom line is, we should be as kind as we can to every person we meet. And even if some of them rub us the wrong way, maybe it's time to introspect how that relationship can add value to your life, and how you are contributing in their life as well.
It was beautiful and gave me a lot to think about with respect to my life :)
I love this so much and it relates to what I am going through at the moment. I have outgrown a friendship. My friend showed me that she wasn’t the friend I thought she was and wasn’t a friend that could support me during a time of need. I’ve forgiven, healed and moved on. I’m ok with outgrowing friendships. I’m still friendly when I see her as we share a common social circle, but I no longer wish to have her in my close life. I am working on my emotionally maturity. I have removed her from my Instagram initially as I needed the space to heal and be away from her energy. She has now friend requested me and I’m not sure what to do? Truthfully, my heart doesn’t want to accept. I have moved on, I’ve made my intentions clear with her. I’m happier and more peaceful without her in my close circle. I want to respect my boundaries and prefer not being in her energy, but another part of me says if you have truly grown and healed you can accept her request and it will no longer trigger you. I would love any thoughts from this conscious space. Thank you! 🙏
In my opinion, if you are truly and sincerely making that internal progress like you have mentioned, your peace and stillness from within wouldn't be moved based on anything that this friend does. What I mean is your response to the matter would be where "your" growth is displayed without any attachment or response to the negative energy that she moves in. Just my thoughts - hope it provides you with something to reflect on.
If she follows you, do you have to follow her back? Is there a way to mute her content so she's not popping up on your feed? Is this a time to lean deeply into your distance boundary and ignore the request? Which option can you live with? There are many paths. Choose one today. Change your mind tomorrow.
I wouldn’t have to follow her back, but I don’t like her energy on my account. It’s superficial and weird, but she will be super friendly commenting liking on my account but then is very rude in person. It’s a drama I don’t really want in my life. I can hide my stories from her but I don’t think I can stop her from commenting without her knowing and I don’t want to be super petty. I feel I’m going to work on my boundaries a little more and sit with this a bit more. Thank you for your help 🙏🤍
Agreed and experienced something similar. I choose to keep away because energy is finite... Why waste your limited space and time? Rather spend it on something of grand value and that nurtures the being within, not the doer.
I found this really helpful. I tend to dislike other's based on my experience and values that are misaligned with their's. I still maintain kindness towards them but it's hard because my face will show you how I really feel inside. I already struggle with black and white/ All or Nothing thinking issues. So changing my attitude towards whats behind the thought is helpful. Usually it's a feeling of distrust that leads to me feeling dislike or disdain towards someone or an actionable behavior on their part,and traumatic situation. Or i know that their reputation means to cause more harm than good that fight or flight mode.
I’m going to have the difficult conversation about my past parenting choices I had to make. And open it to him to ask questions so I can explain my tuff decisions I’ve had to make . And why ..
I try to be respectful of people as they are, at least, human beings. I really like your emphasis that we don’t have to be friends to be friendly and kind. After all, I’m the one who has to live with myself, and chronic negativity is not going to help me. I can live and act according to my own principles without compromising my own or anyone else’s integrity.
I’m not sure I completely agree that kindness equals complicity. I can be kind and respectful of you as a person without agreeing with your attitudes or behaviors. To be fair, though, I worked as a therapist for nearly 40 years so this comes easier to me than it may for others.
I totally get that as I have to do the same thing with some of my family! There is no shame, AT ALL, in walking away!! Sometimes that is the kindest thing you can for all involved.
I love this! The extremities of walking out of relationships can be toxic. Walking out connections should be a balanced, living-in-the-grey approach.
I love how this relates to 'letting go' of some things that we seem to hold on to for long sometimes. Sometimes, it's okay to let go of rigidity when it comes to building and maintaining relationships. The bottom line is, we should be as kind as we can to every person we meet. And even if some of them rub us the wrong way, maybe it's time to introspect how that relationship can add value to your life, and how you are contributing in their life as well.
It was beautiful and gave me a lot to think about with respect to my life :)
Thank you 🤍
Complete agreement. Thankyou for your newsletters. I love them so much. 🤗❤️
I love this so much and it relates to what I am going through at the moment. I have outgrown a friendship. My friend showed me that she wasn’t the friend I thought she was and wasn’t a friend that could support me during a time of need. I’ve forgiven, healed and moved on. I’m ok with outgrowing friendships. I’m still friendly when I see her as we share a common social circle, but I no longer wish to have her in my close life. I am working on my emotionally maturity. I have removed her from my Instagram initially as I needed the space to heal and be away from her energy. She has now friend requested me and I’m not sure what to do? Truthfully, my heart doesn’t want to accept. I have moved on, I’ve made my intentions clear with her. I’m happier and more peaceful without her in my close circle. I want to respect my boundaries and prefer not being in her energy, but another part of me says if you have truly grown and healed you can accept her request and it will no longer trigger you. I would love any thoughts from this conscious space. Thank you! 🙏
In my opinion, if you are truly and sincerely making that internal progress like you have mentioned, your peace and stillness from within wouldn't be moved based on anything that this friend does. What I mean is your response to the matter would be where "your" growth is displayed without any attachment or response to the negative energy that she moves in. Just my thoughts - hope it provides you with something to reflect on.
Thank you :)
You're very welcome best wishes
If she follows you, do you have to follow her back? Is there a way to mute her content so she's not popping up on your feed? Is this a time to lean deeply into your distance boundary and ignore the request? Which option can you live with? There are many paths. Choose one today. Change your mind tomorrow.
I wouldn’t have to follow her back, but I don’t like her energy on my account. It’s superficial and weird, but she will be super friendly commenting liking on my account but then is very rude in person. It’s a drama I don’t really want in my life. I can hide my stories from her but I don’t think I can stop her from commenting without her knowing and I don’t want to be super petty. I feel I’m going to work on my boundaries a little more and sit with this a bit more. Thank you for your help 🙏🤍
Agreed and experienced something similar. I choose to keep away because energy is finite... Why waste your limited space and time? Rather spend it on something of grand value and that nurtures the being within, not the doer.
I found this really helpful. I tend to dislike other's based on my experience and values that are misaligned with their's. I still maintain kindness towards them but it's hard because my face will show you how I really feel inside. I already struggle with black and white/ All or Nothing thinking issues. So changing my attitude towards whats behind the thought is helpful. Usually it's a feeling of distrust that leads to me feeling dislike or disdain towards someone or an actionable behavior on their part,and traumatic situation. Or i know that their reputation means to cause more harm than good that fight or flight mode.
Good to know. Now I know and will stop taking it personally when my son blows my texts off .
Is he blowing them off or is he responding when he's prepared to engage?
That’s very possible .
I’m going to have the difficult conversation about my past parenting choices I had to make. And open it to him to ask questions so I can explain my tuff decisions I’ve had to make . And why ..
Just wanted to drop in and say I admire your willingness to want to communicate with your son. All with time ma'am.
I try to be respectful of people as they are, at least, human beings. I really like your emphasis that we don’t have to be friends to be friendly and kind. After all, I’m the one who has to live with myself, and chronic negativity is not going to help me. I can live and act according to my own principles without compromising my own or anyone else’s integrity.
Unfortunately, some people's racism and hatred is so deep that to be kind to them is to be complicit.
In those instances, it's best to cut ties and walk away for your own sanity and safety.
I’m not sure I completely agree that kindness equals complicity. I can be kind and respectful of you as a person without agreeing with your attitudes or behaviors. To be fair, though, I worked as a therapist for nearly 40 years so this comes easier to me than it may for others.
I have been trying with some extended family members most of my life. Sometimes for your own sanity you just have to walk away
I totally get that as I have to do the same thing with some of my family! There is no shame, AT ALL, in walking away!! Sometimes that is the kindest thing you can for all involved.
This is a very insightful consideration during the holidays.
Powerful and truthful.