Interestingly enough, a couple days prior, I was feeling sad. For the moment, I had no evidence why I was feeling dismal. Upon insisting why I was feeling melancholy, I took a step back, I realized my unhappiness was an attack garbed in contradiction.
Nothing was really going on,
by which I could define for the moment, but I was in an unusual space where I felt trapped like so many, working a job lacking nourishment, only to pay rent.
From the desk of Rachel Leeke, her response reminded me that I was in a job lacking fulfillment.
Rachel’s text did not remove the sadness but I acknowledged to her I was in a dead end job.
Final thought, I had begun to question my feelings, stepped back, looked in the window of not only my spirit, but considering the the message from desk of Rachel Leeke,
“Wise words, Preston. Life is too precious to spend time doing something we don’t enjoy.”
This post is so helpful...I'm 44 and have been having (I THINK) an identity crisis BECAUSE I'm middle-aged. It's the smaller things that are throwing me for a loop: my style of dress is changing (no more high heels for me!), I'm ready to leave a city for the suburbs, I've been putting myself first for once.... My big fear with all of this is I'll completely let myself go (i.e. dress like a slob, not be considered 'hip' once I move to a suburb, etc.). I know this is all good/healthy, but feels so confusing!
Can I start my mid-life crisis early? About to turn 38 and I feel like these questions have been circling me for a couple of years—but especially in the last year since being laid off from a dream job.
But the biggest question on my mind is—that I think comes up for a lot of us, especially for those of us coming from marginalized backgrounds:
What does it look like for me to take a risk and live my life in a way that truly satisfies the version of myself that I want to be when I also have big responsibilities like a young child, financial debt, etc.?
There's a really big internal battle between "what I want to do/accomplish and where I want to be as I approach 40" and "the steps I know I want/need to take to get there will require me to take risks with no reward for maybe years, and how can I afford to do that financially when I am raising a family and barely keeping afloat?"
I know what my values are. But what do we do if we can't (financially) afford to chase them right now?
I am a psychologist myself. I’ve been through the quarter-life crisis (still very much navigating it now), but I’ve certainly seen it a lot more in my work with my fellow millennial patients. It always feels good to guide people through something you’ve partially dealt with yourself — or maybe even you’re currently dealing with — it enables me to recognise resources in myself and my life that I often forget about when dealing with my own personal problems. But being a therapist and an advocate for wellbeing, boundaries and self-compassion for my patients helps me do it for me too. So what you’ve shared hear feels invaluable for people like me, the helpers out there, and the young-ish people — the ones who still feel like ersatz adults… the millennials !
Although I’m still 23 and trying to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t, I have come to realise that it will always be this way atleast for another decade or two (maybe even more). We are meant to grow as we go, and each one of us has a different path towards achieving that growth.
The struggle is real. I relocated for the purpose of mending the relationship with my eldest. We have come a long way over the past few years. Now, I'm ready to return and I am getting zero support, "best of luck", "bad decision." So many emotions come up. I realize that I am evolving and with these revelations, I am becoming much more of a less is more person. No longer a people pleaser. Just simply doing me.
I am 71 and am about to embark on a big lifestyle change by selling our home and moving to a seaside resort. Also the past few years have shown me who are the real friends and who needs to go. It's like a huge decluttering of my life. Both parents have passed and I feel a huge freedom to finally let go of the past and move forward. Lots of possibilities 💕
Is a third-life crisis a thing? 😅 I’m in my mid-thirties. My husband and I quit the tech rat race, took a year off, and moved to Europe with two young boys. A big reset moment to rebuild our lives more intentionally.
“That gap between what we want and what we think we should have can create some anxiety and even depressive episodes. “ This was light bulb moment…the hindsight 20/20. I’m 71 and have also realized that I can give up my “I have to be productive, I have to justify being a SAHM, being what others think my life should look like” and I can be me! Whew…. Thank you !
So so good! I am 56, asking the mid life question with more angst-do I have enough time, and even if I get there, how much time will I have to actually enjoy it?? Patience, ha! Ok ok, I'll give that a try 💕 Thank you again
Interestingly enough, a couple days prior, I was feeling sad. For the moment, I had no evidence why I was feeling dismal. Upon insisting why I was feeling melancholy, I took a step back, I realized my unhappiness was an attack garbed in contradiction.
Nothing was really going on,
by which I could define for the moment, but I was in an unusual space where I felt trapped like so many, working a job lacking nourishment, only to pay rent.
From the desk of Rachel Leeke, her response reminded me that I was in a job lacking fulfillment.
Rachel’s text did not remove the sadness but I acknowledged to her I was in a dead end job.
Final thought, I had begun to question my feelings, stepped back, looked in the window of not only my spirit, but considering the the message from desk of Rachel Leeke,
“Wise words, Preston. Life is too precious to spend time doing something we don’t enjoy.”
This post is so helpful...I'm 44 and have been having (I THINK) an identity crisis BECAUSE I'm middle-aged. It's the smaller things that are throwing me for a loop: my style of dress is changing (no more high heels for me!), I'm ready to leave a city for the suburbs, I've been putting myself first for once.... My big fear with all of this is I'll completely let myself go (i.e. dress like a slob, not be considered 'hip' once I move to a suburb, etc.). I know this is all good/healthy, but feels so confusing!
Can I start my mid-life crisis early? About to turn 38 and I feel like these questions have been circling me for a couple of years—but especially in the last year since being laid off from a dream job.
But the biggest question on my mind is—that I think comes up for a lot of us, especially for those of us coming from marginalized backgrounds:
What does it look like for me to take a risk and live my life in a way that truly satisfies the version of myself that I want to be when I also have big responsibilities like a young child, financial debt, etc.?
There's a really big internal battle between "what I want to do/accomplish and where I want to be as I approach 40" and "the steps I know I want/need to take to get there will require me to take risks with no reward for maybe years, and how can I afford to do that financially when I am raising a family and barely keeping afloat?"
I know what my values are. But what do we do if we can't (financially) afford to chase them right now?
Love this
I am a psychologist myself. I’ve been through the quarter-life crisis (still very much navigating it now), but I’ve certainly seen it a lot more in my work with my fellow millennial patients. It always feels good to guide people through something you’ve partially dealt with yourself — or maybe even you’re currently dealing with — it enables me to recognise resources in myself and my life that I often forget about when dealing with my own personal problems. But being a therapist and an advocate for wellbeing, boundaries and self-compassion for my patients helps me do it for me too. So what you’ve shared hear feels invaluable for people like me, the helpers out there, and the young-ish people — the ones who still feel like ersatz adults… the millennials !
Thank you Nedra 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I love this Nedra!
Although I’m still 23 and trying to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t, I have come to realise that it will always be this way atleast for another decade or two (maybe even more). We are meant to grow as we go, and each one of us has a different path towards achieving that growth.
Thank you for this reminder.
The struggle is real. I relocated for the purpose of mending the relationship with my eldest. We have come a long way over the past few years. Now, I'm ready to return and I am getting zero support, "best of luck", "bad decision." So many emotions come up. I realize that I am evolving and with these revelations, I am becoming much more of a less is more person. No longer a people pleaser. Just simply doing me.
I am 71 and am about to embark on a big lifestyle change by selling our home and moving to a seaside resort. Also the past few years have shown me who are the real friends and who needs to go. It's like a huge decluttering of my life. Both parents have passed and I feel a huge freedom to finally let go of the past and move forward. Lots of possibilities 💕
Is a third-life crisis a thing? 😅 I’m in my mid-thirties. My husband and I quit the tech rat race, took a year off, and moved to Europe with two young boys. A big reset moment to rebuild our lives more intentionally.
I'm 58 and asking all of the midlife questions. Thank you for this insight.
“That gap between what we want and what we think we should have can create some anxiety and even depressive episodes. “ This was light bulb moment…the hindsight 20/20. I’m 71 and have also realized that I can give up my “I have to be productive, I have to justify being a SAHM, being what others think my life should look like” and I can be me! Whew…. Thank you !
So so good! I am 56, asking the mid life question with more angst-do I have enough time, and even if I get there, how much time will I have to actually enjoy it?? Patience, ha! Ok ok, I'll give that a try 💕 Thank you again
Incredibly helpful!
Thank you Nedra