It's books for me. I've given myself permission to stop reading books I don't enjoy. I used to push through, patting myself on the back for not giving in....it's a book for crying out loud. Time is pretty darn precious and if I'm reading a book I want to know it's time well spent and enjoyable. It's ok to put the book down, maybe you've received the lessons you were meant to takeaway or perhaps it's not the book for you right now and you'll pick it up later.
We struggle with letting go of the past even if it does not serve us, isn’t it unusual? Six months ago a thing happened that ultimately happens to most of us. A breakup. A romantic relationship that is no longer in existence. One of seven years, it was hard. Even now I still have to condition my mind to this new reality. I guess you could say I’m learning how to pivot. The biggest personal takeaway from this is how family and friends felt like it was essentially a waste of time, as if all the energy and time put into this relationship just vanished, when in reality it never goes away. All the lessons, mannerisms, habitas, all that stays. We grow through hard times, this discomfort has brought me a new appreciation for life.
I really enjoyed this Nedra Nuggets post! The restaurant analogy is a perfect way to illustrate the point about not forcing yourself to tolerate bad decisions.
The Green Eggs and Ham point is interesting too. I never thought about the message that way before. It's a good reminder that it's okay to say no and stick to your boundaries.
Thanks for sharing the journal prompt and the list of things that caught your attention this week. I'll definitely check out the article you recommended and the podcast episode.
This is a fantastic message, Nedra. I went to a casino over the weekend. I watched a man bet $200 on a Roulette table and lost. Personally, I’m not a gambler and would have walked away once I lost. However, the man immediately re-up and bet twice as much. I didn’t stay to see the result. I walked away a little snooty and thought that would never happen to me. But, I’m no different. We’ve all fallen victim to the sunken cost fallacy. In grad school, I was in a toxic lab environment. But I said to myself, I’ve already spent three years, what’s another two going to matter. In addition, it would be a waste if I went to another lab and start all over, when I’m so close to finishing. My motto was “I’ll make it work”. I didn’t realize that I was a shell of myself. I had lost weight and my mental health hit rock bottom. I was deeply depressed, and my schoolwork began to suffer. I couldn’t see that I had fallen victim to the sunken cost fallacy. I did eventually finish, but it was at great cost. I had to go to another lab and take a leave of absence. The story does have a happy ending. I have my PhD in neuroscience. But I wonder what my life would have been like if I pivoted earlier. If I had the courage to leave, once I sensed that my PhD advisor and her lab was not the right place for me. So I guess the lesson for me is no matter how far I’ve gone, it’s never too late to pivot and start over.
Thank you for sharing these great examples. It's amazing to see how people can adapt and pivot, regardless of how much time and effort they've invested in a certain path. Recently, I had a conversation with a "recovering attorney" and they spoke about the challenges they faced when transitioning to a new field. It's not always easy to accept change and make adjustments, but their story was truly inspiring. who spoke about the challenges
I love this. A good reminder for me. Sometimes I feel obliged to stick with a decision I made because I think I should finish what I started. I've definitely stayed in situations too long.
This was so relatable for me, Nedra! I've recently let go of a project commitment that I thought I wanted to do but working on it with the supervisor just wasn't working out. There wasn't a connect.
What I thought about while reading this was how quick I became at returning clothes. So many hold on to things in their closets that they don't like or never fit with tags on them. I actually consider acts like these as ways of training ourselves to speak up. If you can't do it with the small stuff it becomes harder to do with the big stuff.
I love the journal prompt. Something I need to let go of is my travel business. I can no longer run two businesses. I have realized that it is no longer for me after 10 years of booking travel experiences. My event & retreat planning business truly allows me to step into who I am today. I love this business and the experiences I create for my clients. This is exactly where I belong and I can release what no longer excites me.
When I saw the notification I had to wait until I could find a quiet place to thoroughly read through this because the title gave me a strong indication this was going to be good. Nedra did not disappoint us with the amazing piece that she wrote.
Knowing when to pivot is important but the skill of discernment it paramount. We tolerate a lot as humans and especially as women in relationships, the workplace, at home etc, but most of it is as Nedra says, we are taught or grew up with the ideology that we have to tolerate everything and we don't.
"We lose a lot of time in life staying committed to things that are not working" .. our culture now definitely drives us to do this, it's like saying if you quit early you're a failure when in actuality you really win when you decide to take a stand on something that is just not for you.
Journal Prompt: What do I need to let go?
The past. Sometimes we have the misconception that if we can change a thing or two about our past then we can go back and enjoy it, when in reality we just need to let it go. This definitely spoke to me: "Sometimes we have to wade through some discomfort to grow. Sometimes discomfort is necessary. But, there is a difference between something that is uncomfortable and something that isn’t good for you". I am learning and growing into letting go, the process has been brutal but needed.
This article was awesome and definitely a prompt to pivot into a different sort of thinking. Thank you Nedra:)
“…how to tolerate something you don’t like, and that lesson gets carried into adulthood.” This feels like the main lesson of my childhood, and what I understood being an adult to be.
What i need to let go of are these: 1. Thinking that i can stay reliant on my parents forever (i'm unmarried and still live with my parents). 2. Thinking that doing things your own way doesn't make you "a disrespectful daughter".
The green eggs and ham and questions at the end I found intriguing. I want to let go of self doubt meaning that I am uncertian of my identity emotionally and actually stand in the person who's constantly in the back of my mind I'dlike to be. I also want to let go of people pleasing and prioritizing others need ahead of my own and being the one who feels obligated to detriment to prove my worth is more than what I can do for others so I'm not taken advantage of. And" supposed" beliefs, desiring my mom to be my mom 24/7 in regards to being emotionally available when she's to distracted to be available
Hear hear! When I saw Nedra's notification I had to pause to give it a read. As usual, it's a spot-on message to set free from the burden of the word and proceed with what provides a balance. Balance of sometimes wading through a difficult phase & growth. Other times as it says, "When it comes to making decisions we love to tell one another to “sit with it,” but sometimes you don’t have to. Stand up."
I particularly find it difficult to come out clean without the guilt of not standing strong even though the event/decision isn't worth attempting or continuing to. I would like to say that I'm in a better place than the old me because I have realised it and often I have to fake it till I make it to the skill.
Prompt: What do I need to let go? It is my fear. Fear of confrontation or excusing myself. It takes a lot of social energy but I'm getting there and constantly praying to be comfortable with it.
Awesome piece. I could identify with it on a personal level. I really liked this part - "everything is not a calling to give up. Sometimes we have to wade through some discomfort to grow." All boils diwn to the wisdom to know the difference.
It's books for me. I've given myself permission to stop reading books I don't enjoy. I used to push through, patting myself on the back for not giving in....it's a book for crying out loud. Time is pretty darn precious and if I'm reading a book I want to know it's time well spent and enjoyable. It's ok to put the book down, maybe you've received the lessons you were meant to takeaway or perhaps it's not the book for you right now and you'll pick it up later.
We struggle with letting go of the past even if it does not serve us, isn’t it unusual? Six months ago a thing happened that ultimately happens to most of us. A breakup. A romantic relationship that is no longer in existence. One of seven years, it was hard. Even now I still have to condition my mind to this new reality. I guess you could say I’m learning how to pivot. The biggest personal takeaway from this is how family and friends felt like it was essentially a waste of time, as if all the energy and time put into this relationship just vanished, when in reality it never goes away. All the lessons, mannerisms, habitas, all that stays. We grow through hard times, this discomfort has brought me a new appreciation for life.
Indeed we can be horrible quitters as the economist John List talks about.
https://open.substack.com/pub/coachviksapproach/p/inattention-economics?selection=6dd7d06c-0967-4b5a-a7a0-ea4bde6be3cd&r=3adned&utm_medium=ios
I really enjoyed this Nedra Nuggets post! The restaurant analogy is a perfect way to illustrate the point about not forcing yourself to tolerate bad decisions.
The Green Eggs and Ham point is interesting too. I never thought about the message that way before. It's a good reminder that it's okay to say no and stick to your boundaries.
Thanks for sharing the journal prompt and the list of things that caught your attention this week. I'll definitely check out the article you recommended and the podcast episode.
This is a fantastic message, Nedra. I went to a casino over the weekend. I watched a man bet $200 on a Roulette table and lost. Personally, I’m not a gambler and would have walked away once I lost. However, the man immediately re-up and bet twice as much. I didn’t stay to see the result. I walked away a little snooty and thought that would never happen to me. But, I’m no different. We’ve all fallen victim to the sunken cost fallacy. In grad school, I was in a toxic lab environment. But I said to myself, I’ve already spent three years, what’s another two going to matter. In addition, it would be a waste if I went to another lab and start all over, when I’m so close to finishing. My motto was “I’ll make it work”. I didn’t realize that I was a shell of myself. I had lost weight and my mental health hit rock bottom. I was deeply depressed, and my schoolwork began to suffer. I couldn’t see that I had fallen victim to the sunken cost fallacy. I did eventually finish, but it was at great cost. I had to go to another lab and take a leave of absence. The story does have a happy ending. I have my PhD in neuroscience. But I wonder what my life would have been like if I pivoted earlier. If I had the courage to leave, once I sensed that my PhD advisor and her lab was not the right place for me. So I guess the lesson for me is no matter how far I’ve gone, it’s never too late to pivot and start over.
Thank you for sharing these great examples. It's amazing to see how people can adapt and pivot, regardless of how much time and effort they've invested in a certain path. Recently, I had a conversation with a "recovering attorney" and they spoke about the challenges they faced when transitioning to a new field. It's not always easy to accept change and make adjustments, but their story was truly inspiring. who spoke about the challenges
I love this. A good reminder for me. Sometimes I feel obliged to stick with a decision I made because I think I should finish what I started. I've definitely stayed in situations too long.
This was so relatable for me, Nedra! I've recently let go of a project commitment that I thought I wanted to do but working on it with the supervisor just wasn't working out. There wasn't a connect.
Grateful that I was able to let it go. ✨
Thank you for this one!
What I thought about while reading this was how quick I became at returning clothes. So many hold on to things in their closets that they don't like or never fit with tags on them. I actually consider acts like these as ways of training ourselves to speak up. If you can't do it with the small stuff it becomes harder to do with the big stuff.
I, too, return things as soon as possible. It's not working now and likely won't work often in the future.
I love the journal prompt. Something I need to let go of is my travel business. I can no longer run two businesses. I have realized that it is no longer for me after 10 years of booking travel experiences. My event & retreat planning business truly allows me to step into who I am today. I love this business and the experiences I create for my clients. This is exactly where I belong and I can release what no longer excites me.
Thank you for this message!
When I saw the notification I had to wait until I could find a quiet place to thoroughly read through this because the title gave me a strong indication this was going to be good. Nedra did not disappoint us with the amazing piece that she wrote.
Knowing when to pivot is important but the skill of discernment it paramount. We tolerate a lot as humans and especially as women in relationships, the workplace, at home etc, but most of it is as Nedra says, we are taught or grew up with the ideology that we have to tolerate everything and we don't.
"We lose a lot of time in life staying committed to things that are not working" .. our culture now definitely drives us to do this, it's like saying if you quit early you're a failure when in actuality you really win when you decide to take a stand on something that is just not for you.
Journal Prompt: What do I need to let go?
The past. Sometimes we have the misconception that if we can change a thing or two about our past then we can go back and enjoy it, when in reality we just need to let it go. This definitely spoke to me: "Sometimes we have to wade through some discomfort to grow. Sometimes discomfort is necessary. But, there is a difference between something that is uncomfortable and something that isn’t good for you". I am learning and growing into letting go, the process has been brutal but needed.
This article was awesome and definitely a prompt to pivot into a different sort of thinking. Thank you Nedra:)
“…how to tolerate something you don’t like, and that lesson gets carried into adulthood.” This feels like the main lesson of my childhood, and what I understood being an adult to be.
What i need to let go of are these: 1. Thinking that i can stay reliant on my parents forever (i'm unmarried and still live with my parents). 2. Thinking that doing things your own way doesn't make you "a disrespectful daughter".
The green eggs and ham and questions at the end I found intriguing. I want to let go of self doubt meaning that I am uncertian of my identity emotionally and actually stand in the person who's constantly in the back of my mind I'dlike to be. I also want to let go of people pleasing and prioritizing others need ahead of my own and being the one who feels obligated to detriment to prove my worth is more than what I can do for others so I'm not taken advantage of. And" supposed" beliefs, desiring my mom to be my mom 24/7 in regards to being emotionally available when she's to distracted to be available
Hear hear! When I saw Nedra's notification I had to pause to give it a read. As usual, it's a spot-on message to set free from the burden of the word and proceed with what provides a balance. Balance of sometimes wading through a difficult phase & growth. Other times as it says, "When it comes to making decisions we love to tell one another to “sit with it,” but sometimes you don’t have to. Stand up."
I particularly find it difficult to come out clean without the guilt of not standing strong even though the event/decision isn't worth attempting or continuing to. I would like to say that I'm in a better place than the old me because I have realised it and often I have to fake it till I make it to the skill.
Prompt: What do I need to let go? It is my fear. Fear of confrontation or excusing myself. It takes a lot of social energy but I'm getting there and constantly praying to be comfortable with it.
Thank you, Nedra, yet again!
Awesome piece. I could identify with it on a personal level. I really liked this part - "everything is not a calling to give up. Sometimes we have to wade through some discomfort to grow." All boils diwn to the wisdom to know the difference.
...the wisdom to discern what the best response is for you.