This makes so much sense. So many parents manipulate their children the same way. They'll expect everything from their children without any effort or appreciation in return. I grew up with this manipulation amd only realized it in my late 30s that this was it.
Thanks for this. Bullet 2 though seems like it could be candor in an effort to build clarity and awareness. I see how it could be used as manipulation, but also an effort to enhance the relationship. Thoughts?
I had to think hard about this one, if someone is constantly making it known that they feel hurt by you not showing up and it sounds as gentle as "I feel sad b/c xyz" they should know by now its not going to change. Maybe that person doesnt want to show up in this way or maybe they dont like the parties you throw. The person who is sad could ask why they never come and if they open up thats great. If not, sad person should just re evaluate the relationship with them (meaning either accept they won't come to those parties or accept they cant meet your needs snd move on).
Greetings Nedra! The timing of this article, God sent! Thank you for the resources at the end because as I concluded my therapy session, this was my request of my therapist...but God said: "Nedra got you!" I'm so grateful and excited to see what gems I collect.
"When someone never lets you have a boundary, that’s when it disrupts the relationship. We begin to withhold information and parts of ourselves, and place distance between ourselves and that person because it’s no longer a safe space."
This is how I deal with manipulative people. It's pretty spot on.
Very interesting! Personally, I’d have been interested in more specific examples such as in romantic relationships and what practical steps one can take to handle manipulation.
This makes so much sense. So many parents manipulate their children the same way. They'll expect everything from their children without any effort or appreciation in return. I grew up with this manipulation amd only realized it in my late 30s that this was it.
Thanks for this. Bullet 2 though seems like it could be candor in an effort to build clarity and awareness. I see how it could be used as manipulation, but also an effort to enhance the relationship. Thoughts?
I had to think hard about this one, if someone is constantly making it known that they feel hurt by you not showing up and it sounds as gentle as "I feel sad b/c xyz" they should know by now its not going to change. Maybe that person doesnt want to show up in this way or maybe they dont like the parties you throw. The person who is sad could ask why they never come and if they open up thats great. If not, sad person should just re evaluate the relationship with them (meaning either accept they won't come to those parties or accept they cant meet your needs snd move on).
Greetings Nedra! The timing of this article, God sent! Thank you for the resources at the end because as I concluded my therapy session, this was my request of my therapist...but God said: "Nedra got you!" I'm so grateful and excited to see what gems I collect.
"When someone never lets you have a boundary, that’s when it disrupts the relationship. We begin to withhold information and parts of ourselves, and place distance between ourselves and that person because it’s no longer a safe space."
This is how I deal with manipulative people. It's pretty spot on.
Chichi
chichiwrites.com
I can't wait to listen to your new podcast episodes!
Very interesting! Personally, I’d have been interested in more specific examples such as in romantic relationships and what practical steps one can take to handle manipulation.