Good reminders and tools shared here, as always by Nedra Glover Tawwab.This is leading me to reflect on how I treat myself vs. how I treat others in the workplace, social situations, etc. The internal relationship is one to look at as well. How am I showing up with and for myself?
Having been a therapist in my career, I have been keenly aware of how I treat my clients differently from other people. I know I have to have solid professional boundaries with my clients but struggle with setting firm boundaries with friends and family, even strangers! This sets up the dynamics to be very different. I find I have very different expectations of them vs. my clients, but the truth is we all have many of the same issues, personality quirks, etc. as those we serve. I have to remind myself often that we all have issues and the folks I care about deserve the same, if not more, understanding and compassion from me when we hit rough spots. Thank you for the reminder!!
This is perfect timing again! My therapist and behavior coach told me I self sabotage at times because of my upbringing . since then i have learned to cope properly. My ex BFF and I are trying to figure out whether her requests of being friends is worthy of our time or not. Her actions are weird she'll meet up and respond to my texts but doesn't initiate conversation and there's undefined boundaries and when I met up with her last week she was still testing our connection and I got the sense of distrust. To me we know when we are properly loved and well treated and those relationships deserve reciprocation and nurturing especially once you've done work on yourself to recognize the signs of bad behaviors. You learn not to go back to the bad behavior. I'm the same for the most part in my actions except for cultural Matters and dealings with my family bc my family needs my boundaries. But we also have expectations in/external of and from ourselves and other's that shape the unaware behaviors we possess in environments regarding our comfort and safety with ourselves emotionally. It's a confidence/security issue I'm finding
When you expect people will abandon you once they see your dark sides, you might want to put your darkness on full display to see the results. Cut to the chase. Were you abandoned? Or did they stick with you even though they saw the worst of you?
I loved this newsletter. It's wonderfully informative as always.
Good reminders and tools shared here, as always by Nedra Glover Tawwab.This is leading me to reflect on how I treat myself vs. how I treat others in the workplace, social situations, etc. The internal relationship is one to look at as well. How am I showing up with and for myself?
Yes. I like this . May need to treat people nicer closer to me
Having been a therapist in my career, I have been keenly aware of how I treat my clients differently from other people. I know I have to have solid professional boundaries with my clients but struggle with setting firm boundaries with friends and family, even strangers! This sets up the dynamics to be very different. I find I have very different expectations of them vs. my clients, but the truth is we all have many of the same issues, personality quirks, etc. as those we serve. I have to remind myself often that we all have issues and the folks I care about deserve the same, if not more, understanding and compassion from me when we hit rough spots. Thank you for the reminder!!
This is perfect timing again! My therapist and behavior coach told me I self sabotage at times because of my upbringing . since then i have learned to cope properly. My ex BFF and I are trying to figure out whether her requests of being friends is worthy of our time or not. Her actions are weird she'll meet up and respond to my texts but doesn't initiate conversation and there's undefined boundaries and when I met up with her last week she was still testing our connection and I got the sense of distrust. To me we know when we are properly loved and well treated and those relationships deserve reciprocation and nurturing especially once you've done work on yourself to recognize the signs of bad behaviors. You learn not to go back to the bad behavior. I'm the same for the most part in my actions except for cultural Matters and dealings with my family bc my family needs my boundaries. But we also have expectations in/external of and from ourselves and other's that shape the unaware behaviors we possess in environments regarding our comfort and safety with ourselves emotionally. It's a confidence/security issue I'm finding
When you expect people will abandon you once they see your dark sides, you might want to put your darkness on full display to see the results. Cut to the chase. Were you abandoned? Or did they stick with you even though they saw the worst of you?
Good point! Wanting people to prove, "Will they love me no matter what" is the only way for some people to feel safe.
Full of wisdom, as usual! 🙏🏽❤️
Such a great read this morning! This is something I am becoming mindful of; specifically how I manage my work stress once at home.
Good Morning this is a great one!