I love this post. My husband and I have some fundamental differences which most people would consider dealbreakers. I’ve had people ask me how we make our relationship work. The simple answer is that a lot of people overcomplicate relationships. If my husband wants to attend church, he is free to do so because that activity recharges his heart and soul. But it doesn’t do the same for me, so I stay home and take a candlelight bubble bath or journal or work on my art. We’re accomplishing the same goal in different ways. He prays and I listen to mantra. He is logical. I am creative and fluid. But at the end of the day if our cups are full, we can pour into our relationship all the same.
I'm always willing to try something new at least once. I learned I love plants even though I kill them. I'm a big supporter to my friends even if I don't understand the interests they have. I get inspired by it. I can be rigid when money is involved or my personal desire to not give of my energy gets in the way because some people require more then other's. But I also have groups for everything I enjoy and support
Love this reminder about how we need to find ways to show up for our friends, and so true about the fact that we can be introduced to new things that can become our favourites. Being open to these experiences, and being curious about our differences, is so key. We don't need to have everything in common, but we can always find ways to show up, if we really care. Thanks, Nedra!
I agree with everything you said completely. I decided to start following football years ago even though it wasn’t a huge priority, but at the same time I didn’t enjoy golf which this same person enjoyed. Commonality is key, but at the same time we should be able to say with tact if we don’t care for something like I did in regards to golf. Quite a few years ago, I was introduced to water aerobics and found that I love it. While I love it, I understand that not everyone I know will. I will watch football, have tried remodeling, and watched an air show even though those are things that aren’t at the top of my interest list. This person listens to my writing ideas, church activities, and other things I like even though they may not do those. It’s a nice balance definitely.
This is something I learned over the years and I realised that it was ok to have my own interests and for my husband to have his. My parents were virtually joined at the hip. They moved into a retirement village where there was a bowling green and dad was keen to give it a go. However, mum wasn't interested so dad stopped going.
This made me think of a friend who would call or FaceTime and afterwards would text me and say something along the lines: you kept me for 36 min! Or 42 min we chatted! She always kept track and would tell me how long we talked and I hated it. So I stopped accepting her calls so I wouldn’t have to hear how long I took her from her other activities. It was so strange as if she was doing me a favor and making sure I knew it.
Thanks again for another insightful post, Nedra. I always learn something valuable from you; you bring clarity to my life experience through your work.
When my husband was alive, I would downhill ski with him…it wasn’t my favorite, but I felt like it was my marital obligation to join him, so I did. Now I choose to not ski, and it’s fine.💚
I truly appreciated this article—it came at just the right time. After 40 years of marriage, I’ve been trying to discover new ways of being with my wife. Recently, we had a major disagreement about how we approach intimacy, and I realized I wasn’t willing to compromise, which only escalated the conflict. This article prompted me to reflect deeply on how I support our differences and why I often feel things need to go my way. Moving forward, I’m committed to making amends, honoring our differences, and approaching things with greater understanding so that our relationship can be more harmonious. Thank you for this powerful reminder.
Love this! My ERG just finished up a book club with your book. There were 4 groups. It is fun to see you pop up on my Substack!
The interconnectedness of all things….fractals of the divine tapestry of the Universal one.
I love this post. My husband and I have some fundamental differences which most people would consider dealbreakers. I’ve had people ask me how we make our relationship work. The simple answer is that a lot of people overcomplicate relationships. If my husband wants to attend church, he is free to do so because that activity recharges his heart and soul. But it doesn’t do the same for me, so I stay home and take a candlelight bubble bath or journal or work on my art. We’re accomplishing the same goal in different ways. He prays and I listen to mantra. He is logical. I am creative and fluid. But at the end of the day if our cups are full, we can pour into our relationship all the same.
I'm always willing to try something new at least once. I learned I love plants even though I kill them. I'm a big supporter to my friends even if I don't understand the interests they have. I get inspired by it. I can be rigid when money is involved or my personal desire to not give of my energy gets in the way because some people require more then other's. But I also have groups for everything I enjoy and support
Love this reminder about how we need to find ways to show up for our friends, and so true about the fact that we can be introduced to new things that can become our favourites. Being open to these experiences, and being curious about our differences, is so key. We don't need to have everything in common, but we can always find ways to show up, if we really care. Thanks, Nedra!
I agree with everything you said completely. I decided to start following football years ago even though it wasn’t a huge priority, but at the same time I didn’t enjoy golf which this same person enjoyed. Commonality is key, but at the same time we should be able to say with tact if we don’t care for something like I did in regards to golf. Quite a few years ago, I was introduced to water aerobics and found that I love it. While I love it, I understand that not everyone I know will. I will watch football, have tried remodeling, and watched an air show even though those are things that aren’t at the top of my interest list. This person listens to my writing ideas, church activities, and other things I like even though they may not do those. It’s a nice balance definitely.
This is something that we all must do.
This is something I learned over the years and I realised that it was ok to have my own interests and for my husband to have his. My parents were virtually joined at the hip. They moved into a retirement village where there was a bowling green and dad was keen to give it a go. However, mum wasn't interested so dad stopped going.
We also shouldn’t show up for people in a transactional way.
This resonates so deeply
I shared this with my family and we have started to make plans to do better 🙏
This article is so thought provoking and breathes fresh life into my being. Thanks for this. I really appreciate it.
This made me think of a friend who would call or FaceTime and afterwards would text me and say something along the lines: you kept me for 36 min! Or 42 min we chatted! She always kept track and would tell me how long we talked and I hated it. So I stopped accepting her calls so I wouldn’t have to hear how long I took her from her other activities. It was so strange as if she was doing me a favor and making sure I knew it.
Thanks again for another insightful post, Nedra. I always learn something valuable from you; you bring clarity to my life experience through your work.
When my husband was alive, I would downhill ski with him…it wasn’t my favorite, but I felt like it was my marital obligation to join him, so I did. Now I choose to not ski, and it’s fine.💚
I truly appreciated this article—it came at just the right time. After 40 years of marriage, I’ve been trying to discover new ways of being with my wife. Recently, we had a major disagreement about how we approach intimacy, and I realized I wasn’t willing to compromise, which only escalated the conflict. This article prompted me to reflect deeply on how I support our differences and why I often feel things need to go my way. Moving forward, I’m committed to making amends, honoring our differences, and approaching things with greater understanding so that our relationship can be more harmonious. Thank you for this powerful reminder.