Nedra, I really appreciate your point about "as we develop new relationships, we develop ourselves." Forming friendships is not just about connection but also about personal growth. I shall remember to be open and make the first move. Thank you🌟
Last time I made a new friend connection was earlier this month at salsa night at the mint in uptown. There was a group that went dancing that my friend knows personally and turned out one of the girls was from my hometown area and we couldn't stop talking that then lead to us hanging out just recently until 1a.m. and it helped me to be myself bc there was a geographic connection and mentality then it reminded me of my past connections with ppl I had known for over defecate that helped me to see I was moving on but still semi stuck in the past still longing for my past friendship that I'm struggling to get over but im so glad to have made new friends. I think the analogy used in the article is a good illustration bc it's very much like dating you have to get their information and initiate conversation and then forward progression steps. Kids make friends so fast bc of innocence and lack of judgment and Fear of rejection. They just see a person to play with them and they no longer feel lonely once they run off to the swing set and play tag. As adults we need to be more like kids approachable without fear of rejection and pain. See ppl as opportunities for growth not obstacles to staying stuck in comfort
I have both older, same age and younger friends that I can count on one hand… My problem is sometimes I wanna be left alone.. An occasional brunch, travel or a good show/festival is more my speed… Hanging out every second or every hour of the day is not..been there, done that… Enjoying my peace to the fullest! Less is, more…right?
The, worldwide penpal drive idea, is great! Willing to sign-up for that when it’s, developed. Thank you Nedra and commenter's🫂🫂
Maybe we should have a world wide penpal drive put your name down you can pass letters on to others and get like-minded friends over the countries in case they take the net down.
This is such an important topic for all of us! I’m really in a phase of investing in creating new friendships , and I appreciate these insights so much. I’ve had to accept that without my making moves and treating friendship like a courtship, it just isn’t going to happen. It’s been a slow, sweet process, learning to make friends in a new way, and I have a few budding relationships now that I am excited to nurture. I’m surprised at how much scarier it is to try to make friends as an adult than it was for me as a child, but it is just as crucial now as it was on the first day of kindergarten. 💜 🤝
I like the validation on how it's ok to have friends of all ages. I like being friends with people a lot older and a lot younger than me, I learn things from them!
I have found that when I go out, meet new people, and even have a good time that's where it ends. Even if I follow up afterwards, nothing really amounts from it. I've done meet ups and to me it feels like we were just escorts for each other. It's like these were merely transactions not people trying to make friends. It's been discouraging.
This helps so much. This is the #1 thing that I've struggled with as an adult. Last year, I moved to a small town & I love the pace of life here, but making friends is difficult. Thankfully I'm not the only newbie around here, so connecting with other like-minded folks is possible & I really appreciate your slow and steady perspective of growing friendships.
A few years back, when we moved to the UK, I made a friend who was older than my usual friends but we grew to be confidants to each other on serious life matters and the lighter side as well.
I second that adults are more conscious for the reason you have well mentioned and also that they project their past experiences onto potential new friends.
I understand letting go of ego and making the first move, but if you start to feel like you are in a parasocial/one-sided relationship after all your efforts, then stop trying with that person. Adult relationships are already very hard to build and maintain.
Nedra, I really appreciate your point about "as we develop new relationships, we develop ourselves." Forming friendships is not just about connection but also about personal growth. I shall remember to be open and make the first move. Thank you🌟
Last time I made a new friend connection was earlier this month at salsa night at the mint in uptown. There was a group that went dancing that my friend knows personally and turned out one of the girls was from my hometown area and we couldn't stop talking that then lead to us hanging out just recently until 1a.m. and it helped me to be myself bc there was a geographic connection and mentality then it reminded me of my past connections with ppl I had known for over defecate that helped me to see I was moving on but still semi stuck in the past still longing for my past friendship that I'm struggling to get over but im so glad to have made new friends. I think the analogy used in the article is a good illustration bc it's very much like dating you have to get their information and initiate conversation and then forward progression steps. Kids make friends so fast bc of innocence and lack of judgment and Fear of rejection. They just see a person to play with them and they no longer feel lonely once they run off to the swing set and play tag. As adults we need to be more like kids approachable without fear of rejection and pain. See ppl as opportunities for growth not obstacles to staying stuck in comfort
"...it’s important that we try because as we develop new relationships, we develop ourselves."
Wow. Mic drop moment! 🎤
Excellent post. 💙
Let go of ego, open up and be curious ❤️
Navigating this.
I have both older, same age and younger friends that I can count on one hand… My problem is sometimes I wanna be left alone.. An occasional brunch, travel or a good show/festival is more my speed… Hanging out every second or every hour of the day is not..been there, done that… Enjoying my peace to the fullest! Less is, more…right?
The, worldwide penpal drive idea, is great! Willing to sign-up for that when it’s, developed. Thank you Nedra and commenter's🫂🫂
Maybe we should have a world wide penpal drive put your name down you can pass letters on to others and get like-minded friends over the countries in case they take the net down.
Thank you for this information.
This is such an important topic for all of us! I’m really in a phase of investing in creating new friendships , and I appreciate these insights so much. I’ve had to accept that without my making moves and treating friendship like a courtship, it just isn’t going to happen. It’s been a slow, sweet process, learning to make friends in a new way, and I have a few budding relationships now that I am excited to nurture. I’m surprised at how much scarier it is to try to make friends as an adult than it was for me as a child, but it is just as crucial now as it was on the first day of kindergarten. 💜 🤝
I like the validation on how it's ok to have friends of all ages. I like being friends with people a lot older and a lot younger than me, I learn things from them!
I have found that when I go out, meet new people, and even have a good time that's where it ends. Even if I follow up afterwards, nothing really amounts from it. I've done meet ups and to me it feels like we were just escorts for each other. It's like these were merely transactions not people trying to make friends. It's been discouraging.
This helps so much. This is the #1 thing that I've struggled with as an adult. Last year, I moved to a small town & I love the pace of life here, but making friends is difficult. Thankfully I'm not the only newbie around here, so connecting with other like-minded folks is possible & I really appreciate your slow and steady perspective of growing friendships.
A few years back, when we moved to the UK, I made a friend who was older than my usual friends but we grew to be confidants to each other on serious life matters and the lighter side as well.
I second that adults are more conscious for the reason you have well mentioned and also that they project their past experiences onto potential new friends.
As someone currently navigating the wild world of adult relationships, really appreciate this post.
I understand letting go of ego and making the first move, but if you start to feel like you are in a parasocial/one-sided relationship after all your efforts, then stop trying with that person. Adult relationships are already very hard to build and maintain.
YES! I've found myself in many of these type of relationships -- I'm finally navigating the world of "boundaries."