I met a random dude while waiting at a train platform. I distinctly remember meditating on a thought before he broke the silence and asked me where I got the inspiration for my taste in style. He looked like he had just gotten out of work with a pair of black slacks, white button-up shirt, and a black blazer slung around his forearm. I told him a lot of my style comes from the music or movies I primarily listen to. I remember having on some black bellbottom pants, a black and white oversized t-shirt that had a Mexican skeleton mariachi band with guns slung on the backs. It was printed on the front and back of the shirt. We got to talking about RnB artists we shared a common interest in before my train pulled into the station. He thanked me for the conversation and politely said he hoped to see me around. We never saw one another again since I was only in town for a couple of days but I really appreciated the fleeting moment & connection for just a short while❣️
My ex reached out to me 9 years after the loss of our daughter and relationship. He recently apologized for the suffering I endured which gave us both peace and emotional freedom-a beautiful gift. All for him to tell me he wants to be friend's and then some. The deal breaker for me with him is after 12 years of involvement in my life he refuses to come back correctly with a ring and giving me his name . He and I lost parts of commonality and he doesn't share the values we both once had. He longs for the comforts of the younger me not the me that's longterm. I've learned history Is a trigger and a barrier for some that distracts and frustrates where there's peace. Also long term effects of childhood in adult relationships effect how we view short vs long term relationships and our view of our internal wellness at that moment and what we attract and what we allow ourselves to attract
My son and I met a single Dad and his daughter on a vacation. At first, we kept running into them and it evolved into making plans ahead of time. We had a great time with them. We went on adventures, enjoyed meals and celebrated the daughter's birthday. We were like a family. When the vacation ended we never spoke again. We remember them fondly. They made our vacation more fun. In our everyday lives it would have been difficult to interact with them because they lived in another state. It was a perfect relationship for a week!
Love this. The book by Pema Chodron When things fall apart” resonates with this. My ex thought I was mad when we became a couple and I said, there are two ways out of this either one of us dies or we break up. We broke up 🤣🤣
I recently let go of a relationship that was no longer working. It was difficult especially since a good friend (whom I had introduced her to) is close to her. I've also found it hard to understand that a couple of other friendships from my past have been hard to continue unless there is a crisis on my side (the recent death of my sis, for instance). Once all is well, they fade back into the background, even with my attempts. Maybe it's time for me to let go. Great article. Glad to find you.
Thank you for this reminder relational balance is the theme for me this week.
To answer your question at the end of the article- Yes, I have indeed met someone and ralized immediatly this was indeed the beginning and the end of the relationship. Some determining factors to this were some of the internal feelings i had:
1) This person is cool, but something is off about them. I just dont feel right.
2) They are trying too hard to try and find a commonality with me and it's feeling forced.
3) The way they breathed was soooo loud that it was interupting my thinking and ultimately annoying me.
We worked together but I kept my distance and ensured i was never alone with them nor that we ever had one-on-one interactions. Weirdest thing about this memory recollection is about a year after this person started working there he was arrested at the job. Turns out he stabbed his roommate 13 times and had lived with her corspe in the house for a few days until a freind came looking for her and found her. It was months later that they came and grabbed him but I always knew something was off about him.
----
Other than that one inscident, I have always longed for freinds and have been the one who tried too hard,held porous bounderies, and always put others needs and wants before my own all under the guise of "that waht friends do for eachother" it was not until later that I have learned that my needs and wants also matter and therefore they deserved to be prioritized. If a relationship I am in does not do that I dont need to be in that relationship.
This was such an insightful topic (as usual). I have definitely had connections that didn't last as long I thought they may. Some were for a day, a week, or even several weeks. More often than not, I was shocked and a bit disappointed by the brief experience. In some cases, it wasn't until after some time passed that I realized there were some differences that would have gotten in the way eventually. I am working on more acceptance for the joy people and experiences may bring in a temporary sense. I appreciate the way your article is helping me think about that more. :)
Is it possible to know how far a relationship will go? One enters into relationships of all kinds, expecting longevity. Then, one drifts away for life, one could reconnect, one could live the always around story - personally speaking, I don't think one can anticipate the duration.
You're a wonderful writer, Nedra! This topic deserves a good sit-down-and-think session. I appreciate the prompts. Michelle Obama said to Oprah, "Some people won't make the climb with you - they'll run out of oxygen." [Quoting from my alleged memory here.] This is so true. Some relationships are only for a season. We need to know our deal-breakers and be true to ourselves. Besides, we're in a relationship with ourselves, too. Thank you for this thoughtful article and the way you laid it out.
Thanks for this topic Kendra! I hadn’t thought of non romantic interactions in this perspective. I guess for a while I was so intentional about making new friendships that when I experienced a great connection with a new person, I expected longevity. Then took it personal or felt disappointed when it did not become that. I’ve grown a bit in this area though! Now, I know that if the other person isn’t also seeking ways to develop longevity beyond our temporary connection, then I let it be what it is. I don’t take it personal. I recognize that it was just a nice alignment for that season or place and time.
This is Us is an incredible show. I cry almost, if not every episode. It can be a lot, but the stories are so real and so human. Plus the acting is incredible.
This was a great nugget. Relationships can shift and change over time, sometimes for the good, sometimes not. My ex and I, although technically still married, are no longer together. We've married almost 30 years, but for the last 7 have only been co-parenting. It works for me not being in a romantic relationship anymore, I am now with someone who sees me, but our business relationship as co-parents works too. Much better than our marriage did.
Another insightful and right on time Nedra Nugget. The question you asked was How do you know a relationship was intended to be short lived? In a recent encounter, I was left with a strong sense that the interaction had completed its natural life cycle. There was no attempt on either of our parts to prolong the relationship. The difference in this situation is that I listened and accepted the reality. Nothing was wrong. No negativity. In thinking about this past encounter, it was refreshing.
I met a random dude while waiting at a train platform. I distinctly remember meditating on a thought before he broke the silence and asked me where I got the inspiration for my taste in style. He looked like he had just gotten out of work with a pair of black slacks, white button-up shirt, and a black blazer slung around his forearm. I told him a lot of my style comes from the music or movies I primarily listen to. I remember having on some black bellbottom pants, a black and white oversized t-shirt that had a Mexican skeleton mariachi band with guns slung on the backs. It was printed on the front and back of the shirt. We got to talking about RnB artists we shared a common interest in before my train pulled into the station. He thanked me for the conversation and politely said he hoped to see me around. We never saw one another again since I was only in town for a couple of days but I really appreciated the fleeting moment & connection for just a short while❣️
My ex reached out to me 9 years after the loss of our daughter and relationship. He recently apologized for the suffering I endured which gave us both peace and emotional freedom-a beautiful gift. All for him to tell me he wants to be friend's and then some. The deal breaker for me with him is after 12 years of involvement in my life he refuses to come back correctly with a ring and giving me his name . He and I lost parts of commonality and he doesn't share the values we both once had. He longs for the comforts of the younger me not the me that's longterm. I've learned history Is a trigger and a barrier for some that distracts and frustrates where there's peace. Also long term effects of childhood in adult relationships effect how we view short vs long term relationships and our view of our internal wellness at that moment and what we attract and what we allow ourselves to attract
My son and I met a single Dad and his daughter on a vacation. At first, we kept running into them and it evolved into making plans ahead of time. We had a great time with them. We went on adventures, enjoyed meals and celebrated the daughter's birthday. We were like a family. When the vacation ended we never spoke again. We remember them fondly. They made our vacation more fun. In our everyday lives it would have been difficult to interact with them because they lived in another state. It was a perfect relationship for a week!
Love this. The book by Pema Chodron When things fall apart” resonates with this. My ex thought I was mad when we became a couple and I said, there are two ways out of this either one of us dies or we break up. We broke up 🤣🤣
Thanks for your insights and diligent support.
Tried to send a word of encouragement but the web site was closed?
Thank you again.
I recently let go of a relationship that was no longer working. It was difficult especially since a good friend (whom I had introduced her to) is close to her. I've also found it hard to understand that a couple of other friendships from my past have been hard to continue unless there is a crisis on my side (the recent death of my sis, for instance). Once all is well, they fade back into the background, even with my attempts. Maybe it's time for me to let go. Great article. Glad to find you.
Thank you for this reminder relational balance is the theme for me this week.
To answer your question at the end of the article- Yes, I have indeed met someone and ralized immediatly this was indeed the beginning and the end of the relationship. Some determining factors to this were some of the internal feelings i had:
1) This person is cool, but something is off about them. I just dont feel right.
2) They are trying too hard to try and find a commonality with me and it's feeling forced.
3) The way they breathed was soooo loud that it was interupting my thinking and ultimately annoying me.
We worked together but I kept my distance and ensured i was never alone with them nor that we ever had one-on-one interactions. Weirdest thing about this memory recollection is about a year after this person started working there he was arrested at the job. Turns out he stabbed his roommate 13 times and had lived with her corspe in the house for a few days until a freind came looking for her and found her. It was months later that they came and grabbed him but I always knew something was off about him.
----
Other than that one inscident, I have always longed for freinds and have been the one who tried too hard,held porous bounderies, and always put others needs and wants before my own all under the guise of "that waht friends do for eachother" it was not until later that I have learned that my needs and wants also matter and therefore they deserved to be prioritized. If a relationship I am in does not do that I dont need to be in that relationship.
I love these nuggets too!!! So on time!!! Thank you!
Questions:
TP - over or under
Squeeze Toothpaste - middle or bottom
you would be surprised!
This was such an insightful topic (as usual). I have definitely had connections that didn't last as long I thought they may. Some were for a day, a week, or even several weeks. More often than not, I was shocked and a bit disappointed by the brief experience. In some cases, it wasn't until after some time passed that I realized there were some differences that would have gotten in the way eventually. I am working on more acceptance for the joy people and experiences may bring in a temporary sense. I appreciate the way your article is helping me think about that more. :)
Is it possible to know how far a relationship will go? One enters into relationships of all kinds, expecting longevity. Then, one drifts away for life, one could reconnect, one could live the always around story - personally speaking, I don't think one can anticipate the duration.
You're a wonderful writer, Nedra! This topic deserves a good sit-down-and-think session. I appreciate the prompts. Michelle Obama said to Oprah, "Some people won't make the climb with you - they'll run out of oxygen." [Quoting from my alleged memory here.] This is so true. Some relationships are only for a season. We need to know our deal-breakers and be true to ourselves. Besides, we're in a relationship with ourselves, too. Thank you for this thoughtful article and the way you laid it out.
This was definitely right on time.
Thanks for this topic Kendra! I hadn’t thought of non romantic interactions in this perspective. I guess for a while I was so intentional about making new friendships that when I experienced a great connection with a new person, I expected longevity. Then took it personal or felt disappointed when it did not become that. I’ve grown a bit in this area though! Now, I know that if the other person isn’t also seeking ways to develop longevity beyond our temporary connection, then I let it be what it is. I don’t take it personal. I recognize that it was just a nice alignment for that season or place and time.
This is Us is an incredible show. I cry almost, if not every episode. It can be a lot, but the stories are so real and so human. Plus the acting is incredible.
This was a great nugget. Relationships can shift and change over time, sometimes for the good, sometimes not. My ex and I, although technically still married, are no longer together. We've married almost 30 years, but for the last 7 have only been co-parenting. It works for me not being in a romantic relationship anymore, I am now with someone who sees me, but our business relationship as co-parents works too. Much better than our marriage did.
Another insightful and right on time Nedra Nugget. The question you asked was How do you know a relationship was intended to be short lived? In a recent encounter, I was left with a strong sense that the interaction had completed its natural life cycle. There was no attempt on either of our parts to prolong the relationship. The difference in this situation is that I listened and accepted the reality. Nothing was wrong. No negativity. In thinking about this past encounter, it was refreshing.