Despite the difficulty of the subject, you handled it admirably. The message was spot on. I shared it within my sibling chat group, and well, let's just say it touched some nerves, but in black families we never discuss these issues and it is so needed!
Very needed! Now they know your views on the topic of kindness within your family. Sometimes people being offended is exactly the discomfit they need for growth.
I always say we give strangers more grace than people we know. Also, made me think of how drunk or loud adults get more grace than a tired toddler or kid at a pizza joint. Love your page. Griselda
Also, we have fewer interactions (fewer opportunities) to be unkind toward strangers. In workplaces, the consequences are more precise; therefore, people (hopefully) behave better.
A great read! Was often asked to forgive and forget by my parents and not make waves because it was family. Was even accused of my mother's illness because I wouldn't put up with the bad behaviour anymore. Shamed for speaking up after years of dysfunctional behaviour by family members. Big boundaries along with low and no contact.
This reminds me of a Church Sermon on Sunday. Pass the “collection plate” around. Thx for your heartfelt thoughts & candor. It means a lot over here. SCHOOLED AGAIN.
My son was a drug addict off and on for many years as he fought with his demons. Through it all I still showed him love and forgiveness--for having walked in his shoes as an alcoholic and part time addict myself, but now sober for many, many years.
Because of him, I learned to have boundaries. Because of me, he learned unconditional love.
Today he is clean and always tells me (and others) that through “it all”, I always loved him unconditionally.
My question is; what is unconditional love, if not unlimited forgiveness? Is there a difference?
Question: Can we unconditionally love people without being in a relationship with them? Each idea is based on your unique relationship with someone. We can undoubtedly love people and forgive them in silence. And we can love people and choose not to forgive them again. The answer is grayer, than black and white.
I appreciate the idea of "slathering" loved ones with affection or offering them a warm greeting. Perhaps, offering people the care we'd like to receive is a good approach for relationships.
Hi Nedra, I absolutely loved this piece, especially since it really resonates. Thank you for writing this.
Despite the difficulty of the subject, you handled it admirably. The message was spot on. I shared it within my sibling chat group, and well, let's just say it touched some nerves, but in black families we never discuss these issues and it is so needed!
Very needed! Now they know your views on the topic of kindness within your family. Sometimes people being offended is exactly the discomfit they need for growth.
Goes both ways. Often-Friends are more generous with time and effort to be kind
I always say we give strangers more grace than people we know. Also, made me think of how drunk or loud adults get more grace than a tired toddler or kid at a pizza joint. Love your page. Griselda
Also, we have fewer interactions (fewer opportunities) to be unkind toward strangers. In workplaces, the consequences are more precise; therefore, people (hopefully) behave better.
A great read! Was often asked to forgive and forget by my parents and not make waves because it was family. Was even accused of my mother's illness because I wouldn't put up with the bad behaviour anymore. Shamed for speaking up after years of dysfunctional behaviour by family members. Big boundaries along with low and no contact.
This reminds me of a Church Sermon on Sunday. Pass the “collection plate” around. Thx for your heartfelt thoughts & candor. It means a lot over here. SCHOOLED AGAIN.
This one resonates. We should have a higher standard, not lower. Goodness.
Hi Nedra,
My son was a drug addict off and on for many years as he fought with his demons. Through it all I still showed him love and forgiveness--for having walked in his shoes as an alcoholic and part time addict myself, but now sober for many, many years.
Because of him, I learned to have boundaries. Because of me, he learned unconditional love.
Today he is clean and always tells me (and others) that through “it all”, I always loved him unconditionally.
My question is; what is unconditional love, if not unlimited forgiveness? Is there a difference?
Question: Can we unconditionally love people without being in a relationship with them? Each idea is based on your unique relationship with someone. We can undoubtedly love people and forgive them in silence. And we can love people and choose not to forgive them again. The answer is grayer, than black and white.
I appreciate the idea of "slathering" loved ones with affection or offering them a warm greeting. Perhaps, offering people the care we'd like to receive is a good approach for relationships.