In Fall of 2020, my younger sister passed away unexpectedly. In these last two years since, I went through the process of obtaining guardianship of her 2 very young boys, I got married, left my job and I moved to a new state. These two years have put me through the ringer, and the worst part about this all, is my new area is very rural, and other than my husband who works long hours, I have no support with the kids and very limited windows of time to care for myself. I feel as if I never going to be myself again. I'm trying to be patient with myself, but my area is rural and also lacks the resources I need such as quality mental/physical health care. If anyone has resources to offer, I'd really appreciate it, especially to counseling services online that you've used. I searched my entire state and couldn't find a therapist for myself and my family that was
a good fit or that would see kids their age. Thanks so much.
I retired a bit over 2 years ago but still work part time for my previous employer. Though I love retirement, I’ve found I have been struggling with my professional identity (afterall, I only worked 38 years for this company!). The challenge has been saying no to too many tasks…and I’m working on that!
What transition have you recently experienced? I am transitioning to another single season after going through a 3 year situationship. This is the second situationship I have been in since I was 16. It feels very uncomfortable and sometimes I miss who he used to be, not who he turned into before he chose to ghost me for what felt like the 5th or 6th time.
What strategies did you use to cope? I journal a lot. I wrote poems. I sing, exercise, stretch, pray and talk it out with friends. This situationship has been talked about a lot since it started in June 2019 up until the end in October 2022.
In 2021 I told my sister that I was feel uneasy and I feel like a change is coming. I could not put my finger on it to narrow it down but I did want to prepare for it. At that time I thought I was in a relationship that was going to take further in life mentally and emotionally. January 1st, 2022, that change came. My relationship ended abruptly and in the worst way possible. I don't think I'd ever been that uncomfortable in life. I did not know how to handle 1) coming out of a relationship (even though I have been in a few relationships already) 2) how to express my emotions 3) how to handle and process my emotions 4) learning me again. This change was terrifying for me because I did not know what to do. I somehow figure this had to do with boundaries and I came across your book. We are in November 2022 right now and I am honestly proud of myself. I am still fighting change in life but I am now aware on taking the necessary steps. Taking more self accountability, giving myself more grace, understanding that my life is not happy if I am not happy. I am still working through some changes. I am about to embark on my biggest change yet that would rearrange the way I live life. I am putting me first so that I can understand what I need to do to adjust.
I had a chemical exposure in 2017 that left me with permanent damage to my breathing. This was difficult to navigate to go from being healthy and active to losing my breath by only making my bed, or walking up stairs. I went through the 5 stages of grief before coming out on the other side with acceptance of this new me.
Having your day to day functioning physically impacted is a rough transition for many to do. We all get older and none of us are immune from life events. I'm glad you were able to give yourself all the time you needed to work through the stages of grief to get to where you are now. Continue to allow yourself to do so.
I'm going through a transition process for the last 18 months and I struggle to have support when I need it. My husband is gone for work 6 out of 7 days each week and I don't have positive family to rely on, just the opposite, my Mother and Aunt are going through difficult legal issues and have completely relied on me to find them a lawyer etc. This has been going on since April. A couple months ago we purchased our new home in a new community so I don't have a friend network. I guess I am struggling with knowing how to get the support I need and finding it at all. Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Definitely staying open to new relationships can be of benefit to you. A lot of us take on so much that we hesitate to even share the load if the opportunity presents itself. A concern that many of us have is to not want to overwhelm people with our burdens but we often don't hesitate to take on theirs. Communicate openly with those in your surroundings about your needs and how they may be able to assist. Friendships all have a starting point and close friendships can begin in adulthood. Consider that when meeting new people.....introduce yourself, set that coffee date, go to lunch with that coworker, take a walk with that neighbor, etc.
How long is too long for that “acclimation period?” It seems like lately so many of us have change after change after change... like just as you start to get used to one “change,” BAM! Another serious change happens to make you fall backwards. Adulting and changes... nobody prepares us for this. Thank you for being a great voice in helping us along. I also love your book recommendation lists.
In Fall of 2020, my younger sister passed away unexpectedly. In these last two years since, I went through the process of obtaining guardianship of her 2 very young boys, I got married, left my job and I moved to a new state. These two years have put me through the ringer, and the worst part about this all, is my new area is very rural, and other than my husband who works long hours, I have no support with the kids and very limited windows of time to care for myself. I feel as if I never going to be myself again. I'm trying to be patient with myself, but my area is rural and also lacks the resources I need such as quality mental/physical health care. If anyone has resources to offer, I'd really appreciate it, especially to counseling services online that you've used. I searched my entire state and couldn't find a therapist for myself and my family that was
a good fit or that would see kids their age. Thanks so much.
I retired a bit over 2 years ago but still work part time for my previous employer. Though I love retirement, I’ve found I have been struggling with my professional identity (afterall, I only worked 38 years for this company!). The challenge has been saying no to too many tasks…and I’m working on that!
What transition have you recently experienced? I am transitioning to another single season after going through a 3 year situationship. This is the second situationship I have been in since I was 16. It feels very uncomfortable and sometimes I miss who he used to be, not who he turned into before he chose to ghost me for what felt like the 5th or 6th time.
What strategies did you use to cope? I journal a lot. I wrote poems. I sing, exercise, stretch, pray and talk it out with friends. This situationship has been talked about a lot since it started in June 2019 up until the end in October 2022.
Gratitude: Your writings support my spiritual growth🧡
In 2021 I told my sister that I was feel uneasy and I feel like a change is coming. I could not put my finger on it to narrow it down but I did want to prepare for it. At that time I thought I was in a relationship that was going to take further in life mentally and emotionally. January 1st, 2022, that change came. My relationship ended abruptly and in the worst way possible. I don't think I'd ever been that uncomfortable in life. I did not know how to handle 1) coming out of a relationship (even though I have been in a few relationships already) 2) how to express my emotions 3) how to handle and process my emotions 4) learning me again. This change was terrifying for me because I did not know what to do. I somehow figure this had to do with boundaries and I came across your book. We are in November 2022 right now and I am honestly proud of myself. I am still fighting change in life but I am now aware on taking the necessary steps. Taking more self accountability, giving myself more grace, understanding that my life is not happy if I am not happy. I am still working through some changes. I am about to embark on my biggest change yet that would rearrange the way I live life. I am putting me first so that I can understand what I need to do to adjust.
I had a chemical exposure in 2017 that left me with permanent damage to my breathing. This was difficult to navigate to go from being healthy and active to losing my breath by only making my bed, or walking up stairs. I went through the 5 stages of grief before coming out on the other side with acceptance of this new me.
Having your day to day functioning physically impacted is a rough transition for many to do. We all get older and none of us are immune from life events. I'm glad you were able to give yourself all the time you needed to work through the stages of grief to get to where you are now. Continue to allow yourself to do so.
“You can decide to be different” thank you for this solid reminder. So much of my struggle with change is showing up as I’ve been showing up.
I'm going through a transition process for the last 18 months and I struggle to have support when I need it. My husband is gone for work 6 out of 7 days each week and I don't have positive family to rely on, just the opposite, my Mother and Aunt are going through difficult legal issues and have completely relied on me to find them a lawyer etc. This has been going on since April. A couple months ago we purchased our new home in a new community so I don't have a friend network. I guess I am struggling with knowing how to get the support I need and finding it at all. Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Definitely staying open to new relationships can be of benefit to you. A lot of us take on so much that we hesitate to even share the load if the opportunity presents itself. A concern that many of us have is to not want to overwhelm people with our burdens but we often don't hesitate to take on theirs. Communicate openly with those in your surroundings about your needs and how they may be able to assist. Friendships all have a starting point and close friendships can begin in adulthood. Consider that when meeting new people.....introduce yourself, set that coffee date, go to lunch with that coworker, take a walk with that neighbor, etc.
How long is too long for that “acclimation period?” It seems like lately so many of us have change after change after change... like just as you start to get used to one “change,” BAM! Another serious change happens to make you fall backwards. Adulting and changes... nobody prepares us for this. Thank you for being a great voice in helping us along. I also love your book recommendation lists.