So many gems!!! “Ultimately, it wasn’t even about their mother issues; it was about choosing people who weren’t aware of their own problems.” 😮💨😮💨😮💨
I love that you also leave a journal prompt at the end also. Gives us an opportunity to connect what we read to any personal similar circumstances that may be relevant to your writing.
I am going through a similar experience right now where I am realizing how the reason I am never treated the way I deserve in a professional relationship is actually the consequence of me not choosing myself over and over again. I keep making compromises and trying to enter doors that weren’t meant for me, endlessly believing and hoping that people will change when they see how much effort I am making. It is a hard life lesson but I am finally starting to get the message and ready to change my attitude and setting boundaries instead of forcing someone else to do the same. Thank you for the useful insight Nedra!
I clocked that I dated people that I wanted to save. Then their resistance to change would frustrate me. Truth is, we can not change people. That is a decision they have to make for themselves. I am still learning to stop walking into relationships, platonic or romantic, without the saviour mentality.
"the patterns we don’t recognize are the ones we keep repeating" - this is why I find journalling so helpful, especially since I don't want to pay for therapy at the moment.
Yess NEDRA you done ate me up, chewed me up and spit me right back out!! I needed this… thank you for sharing this because I’m in a season or unlearning the habits/patterns that are not growing me! Very timely!!
Great posting. Pattern recognition is the higher education that is critical for true Awareness work. Sometimes I feel like my patterns are shape-shifting, hieroglyphics created to prevent me from being great. Pattern recognition is a skill set that is not talked about enough - it calls out for more discussion. Thanks for posting.
Yesss!! Nedra PERFECT TIMING!! I'm actively working through a pattern in therapy now. Last weekend I had a panic attack for the 1st time in 2 years after recovery. So I went back to find the reason that triggered it. It was my ex boyfriend and father to our unborn child I lost. Granted, I learned in therapy that between my daddy issues and being emotionally abused and my desire to be loved, going on hope with no doubt, and need for comfort in chaos via trauma that this man was so intertwined that even though he wants to be "friend's " my gut is always right about why I don't want to deal with him. So I packed up all the things I had of him and put it in the mail yesterday and I blocked him for good and took off the app he contacts me on. And I realized I'm able to be the version of me I'm choosing to be and now on my way to a healthy relationship with a new man completely opposite of what I've dated and I'm so proud of myself. Granted, I'm not proud of the fact that I had the attack as the final boundary straw. Knowing all the red flags which I consistently kept restricting access then going back. But even in doing that I learned I know what I want and who I am.
So many gems!!! “Ultimately, it wasn’t even about their mother issues; it was about choosing people who weren’t aware of their own problems.” 😮💨😮💨😮💨
This was of supreme importance.
I love that you also leave a journal prompt at the end also. Gives us an opportunity to connect what we read to any personal similar circumstances that may be relevant to your writing.
Grateful.
I am going through a similar experience right now where I am realizing how the reason I am never treated the way I deserve in a professional relationship is actually the consequence of me not choosing myself over and over again. I keep making compromises and trying to enter doors that weren’t meant for me, endlessly believing and hoping that people will change when they see how much effort I am making. It is a hard life lesson but I am finally starting to get the message and ready to change my attitude and setting boundaries instead of forcing someone else to do the same. Thank you for the useful insight Nedra!
I clocked that I dated people that I wanted to save. Then their resistance to change would frustrate me. Truth is, we can not change people. That is a decision they have to make for themselves. I am still learning to stop walking into relationships, platonic or romantic, without the saviour mentality.
"the patterns we don’t recognize are the ones we keep repeating" - this is why I find journalling so helpful, especially since I don't want to pay for therapy at the moment.
Noticing this about myself lately- so good!
Yess NEDRA you done ate me up, chewed me up and spit me right back out!! I needed this… thank you for sharing this because I’m in a season or unlearning the habits/patterns that are not growing me! Very timely!!
I got a fortune cookie once that said: The Lesson will repeat until it is Learned.
I like "when the student is ready the teacher appears".
Great posting. Pattern recognition is the higher education that is critical for true Awareness work. Sometimes I feel like my patterns are shape-shifting, hieroglyphics created to prevent me from being great. Pattern recognition is a skill set that is not talked about enough - it calls out for more discussion. Thanks for posting.
Let the people Amen!
Yesss!! Nedra PERFECT TIMING!! I'm actively working through a pattern in therapy now. Last weekend I had a panic attack for the 1st time in 2 years after recovery. So I went back to find the reason that triggered it. It was my ex boyfriend and father to our unborn child I lost. Granted, I learned in therapy that between my daddy issues and being emotionally abused and my desire to be loved, going on hope with no doubt, and need for comfort in chaos via trauma that this man was so intertwined that even though he wants to be "friend's " my gut is always right about why I don't want to deal with him. So I packed up all the things I had of him and put it in the mail yesterday and I blocked him for good and took off the app he contacts me on. And I realized I'm able to be the version of me I'm choosing to be and now on my way to a healthy relationship with a new man completely opposite of what I've dated and I'm so proud of myself. Granted, I'm not proud of the fact that I had the attack as the final boundary straw. Knowing all the red flags which I consistently kept restricting access then going back. But even in doing that I learned I know what I want and who I am.
I love the journal prompt! So thoughtful!
This was great. Thanks for sharing.