When Old You Meets New You

Showing grace to all the parts of yourself

Drama Free is in Target stores now. Going to my local Target to grab some laundry detergent and seeing my book on shelves was beautiful. In Target stores, the book is $19.60 (super low price).

We can be really hard on ourselves when we step back into behaviors we thought we had overcome. We can have an Old Me, and a New Me, as long as we recognize that Old Me still lives inside of New Me. Just because we have a new, elevated way of thinking and managing our emotions, doesn’t mean our old way of being won’t ever resurface. That old petty part of us may pop out from time to time. When that former version shows up it doesn’t mean we aren’t doing the work, it just means we won’t always get it right. 

Being a new version of yourself may look like:

• Noticing when you’ve fallen into old patterns

• Catching yourself before you engage in behaviors you’ve outgrown

• Self-correcting when you realize you acted out of alignment with who you want to be

So many things test our resolve when it comes to the lessons and skills we have learned and are learning. One time I went to Home Depot to buy a tub to go on the side of my washing machine. The attendant at the store put it in my car and when I got home I realized they’d accidentally given me a set of eight tubs instead of just one. I was with someone who told me I should sell the extras. I don’t know who I would have sold them to, but the Old Me would have figured it out. The Old Me would not have taken the extra tubs back to Home Depot, which I did. I thought to myself, “Ha! This is a test.”  

The Old Me is still in there. It’s like there’s Old Nedra on one shoulder and New Nedra on the other. I mostly side with New Nedra, but not always. Sometimes Old Nedra wins! We are not always 100% the best version of ourselves. So when we find ourselves slipping into those old habits, it’s really important that we give ourselves grace. We have to remember to talk to ourselves in a loving way despite the fact that we said or did the wrong thing. 

Growth is not always saying the right thing. Growth is also being aware of our mistakes and taking steps to course correct when necessary. 

Sometimes we want to forget ourselves – who we used to be and what we used to do. We don’t want anyone else to know either because we think they will judge us or diminish us. When I tell people about some of my hot mess moments, they can hardly believe it, but that’s who I was, and that’s still part of who I am. That honesty doesn’t take anything away from who I’ve become. 

The Old You and the New You are both you. Leave space for all of yourself. 

 Journal Prompt

What aspects of yourself are you trying to leave behind?

How do you treat yourself when old behaviors resurface?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• Best Friends Are a Surprisingly Recent Phenomenon, by Jaya Saxena in The Atlantic.

• How Cutting Back on Alcohol Can Help Depression and Anxiety, by Richard A. Friedman MD, in The Washington Post. 

• Your Honor. You can watch this show on Showtime. 

• Nedra Glover Tawwab Wants You to Set Better Boundaries on Girlboss Radio podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts.