Interestingly, within the AA context ( the big book and 12 steps) I learned that resentment is the "number one offender" and can be more destructive to an alcoholic than anything else.
Resentments can lead to emotional bondage, making it difficult to move forward in recovery. Reliving your past hurts and wrongs can create a cycle of negativity and hinder spiritual growth.
AA's Twelve Steps suggest specific steps for addressing resentments, such as taking a "searching and fearless moral inventory".
Forgiveness, both of others and oneself, is a crucial component of overcoming resentment. The program focuses on trying to understand the root causes of resentment so individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms.
There's something powerful about understanding and releasing resentment. My relationship with my father was colored by childhood narratives, but finding peace in recognizing his limitations before he passed was a profound experience. It taught me about the importance of seeing people as imperfect humans deserving of compassion.
I'm now facing the challenge of breaking free from the ingrained pattern of burying emotions within my family. Resentment lingers, and I'm actively working on moving past it. It's encouraging to see how this growth is also positively impacting my romantic relationships.
Thank you Nedra for the guidance that helps illuminate these paths.
This really resonated with me. I experienced heavy resentment when I was going through my separation and divorce. Initially, I struggled to identify the feeling but it came with a lot of projecting, and had I not been intentional with my therapy, journaling and self work it would have certainly morphed into bitterness. When resentment rises, I ask myself why over and over again until I get to the root and what the real issue is, it usually is something undressed inside me - no the other person.
Oh this is gold. Lately ive been able to identify when I’m observing or operating in resentment. It’s not a good feeling but it does give us a chance to reconcile with why we feel that way.
Love this! I have found myself being resentful when I feel like I accepted everyone like they are but I'm not met in the same way. For me this feels more like unexpressed anger than envy. A recovering people pleaser here 😅
This was really good, Nedra. I appreciate how you broke down some areas and scenarios; it changed how I see some relationships a whole lot. Resentment is hard in any relationship, but it is good to know there are ways to manage it better!
exactly what i needed this morning. resentment really does feel like never forgiving. sometimes i feel like i can FEEL resentment towards me from certain people in my family and it’s hard because how do i tell them to deal with their resentment instead of taking it out on me? it happens a lot when i make different decisions than my parents did at my age…
Great points and new angles. How we react shows what we need to work on. I learned I don't realize how I come off to others at time's. And how much family relationships are effecting how I allow my emotions to control me when I was in control over them. And some situations are cyclical weaknesses hard to break but we know we're actively trying to break them step by step. Thanks for this Nedra
That’s a good notice, ¡Aja! I immediately asked myself, “does the recipient of resentment have the ability to show up as an active participant in breaking the cycle?” It’s possible. If not, we have options.
Thanks, as always, for your insight, Nedra. I am wondering how much resentment might be related to burnout? Sounds like, as you mentioned, it's directly related to lack of clear boundaries in our lives - whether emotional, physical, or otherwise - which leads me to wonder if resentment might be a signal of sorts that we're approaching burnout.
Not a therapist but absolutely a person who experiences burnout, who has resentment, and has read various informative pieces like Nedra's — and for me, totally, resentment is a big red flag that I took on too much. (Now, to start catching this BEFORE versus in the middle of the cycle ... )
Interestingly, within the AA context ( the big book and 12 steps) I learned that resentment is the "number one offender" and can be more destructive to an alcoholic than anything else.
Resentments can lead to emotional bondage, making it difficult to move forward in recovery. Reliving your past hurts and wrongs can create a cycle of negativity and hinder spiritual growth.
AA's Twelve Steps suggest specific steps for addressing resentments, such as taking a "searching and fearless moral inventory".
Forgiveness, both of others and oneself, is a crucial component of overcoming resentment. The program focuses on trying to understand the root causes of resentment so individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Someone who can dance well without lessons. Yes!
There's something powerful about understanding and releasing resentment. My relationship with my father was colored by childhood narratives, but finding peace in recognizing his limitations before he passed was a profound experience. It taught me about the importance of seeing people as imperfect humans deserving of compassion.
I'm now facing the challenge of breaking free from the ingrained pattern of burying emotions within my family. Resentment lingers, and I'm actively working on moving past it. It's encouraging to see how this growth is also positively impacting my romantic relationships.
Thank you Nedra for the guidance that helps illuminate these paths.
This really resonated with me. I experienced heavy resentment when I was going through my separation and divorce. Initially, I struggled to identify the feeling but it came with a lot of projecting, and had I not been intentional with my therapy, journaling and self work it would have certainly morphed into bitterness. When resentment rises, I ask myself why over and over again until I get to the root and what the real issue is, it usually is something undressed inside me - no the other person.
These are great points and I love the prompts! As a mental health therapist, it can be so helpful to explore this topic with clients.
Love it 👌🏻
Oh this is gold. Lately ive been able to identify when I’m observing or operating in resentment. It’s not a good feeling but it does give us a chance to reconcile with why we feel that way.
Loved this, and advice to pause when you notice resentment creeping in. Breathing as I am curious about some things going on within 🙏🏽
A tough one. Thanks, Nedra.
Love this! I have found myself being resentful when I feel like I accepted everyone like they are but I'm not met in the same way. For me this feels more like unexpressed anger than envy. A recovering people pleaser here 😅
Much appreciated; this was exactly what I needed to read this morning.
This was really good, Nedra. I appreciate how you broke down some areas and scenarios; it changed how I see some relationships a whole lot. Resentment is hard in any relationship, but it is good to know there are ways to manage it better!
Thank you! Looking at our options is helpful. There are many paths.
exactly what i needed this morning. resentment really does feel like never forgiving. sometimes i feel like i can FEEL resentment towards me from certain people in my family and it’s hard because how do i tell them to deal with their resentment instead of taking it out on me? it happens a lot when i make different decisions than my parents did at my age…
Being the person on the receiving end doesn’t feel good. In fact, it’s knowing the problem is without the ability to change anything.
🥹🥹🥹🥹 i love your work thank you for responding
Great points and new angles. How we react shows what we need to work on. I learned I don't realize how I come off to others at time's. And how much family relationships are effecting how I allow my emotions to control me when I was in control over them. And some situations are cyclical weaknesses hard to break but we know we're actively trying to break them step by step. Thanks for this Nedra
This is gold. I’m curious about another aspect of this—what are ways that the recipient of resentment can be part of breaking the cycle?
You gave me an idea of part 2 for this topic.
Can’t wait!
That’s a good notice, ¡Aja! I immediately asked myself, “does the recipient of resentment have the ability to show up as an active participant in breaking the cycle?” It’s possible. If not, we have options.
Thanks, as always, for your insight, Nedra. I am wondering how much resentment might be related to burnout? Sounds like, as you mentioned, it's directly related to lack of clear boundaries in our lives - whether emotional, physical, or otherwise - which leads me to wonder if resentment might be a signal of sorts that we're approaching burnout.
Not a therapist but absolutely a person who experiences burnout, who has resentment, and has read various informative pieces like Nedra's — and for me, totally, resentment is a big red flag that I took on too much. (Now, to start catching this BEFORE versus in the middle of the cycle ... )
That makes a lot of sense, Sadye. I’m similar—resentment makes me pause and consider what I’m doing and if it’s too much.