The Gift of Seasonal Friendship

Learning to honor the importance of short-term relationships

I don’t think we give enough credit to short-term friendships or the friends who come into our lives for a particular season. We tend to celebrate lifelong friendships, but there are people I’ve known for only a brief time who meant a great deal to me.

I was once in a program where a group of us traveled to different colleges to explore the possibility of pursuing a PhD. During that time, I made two close friends. Though we eventually lost touch, their presence made that experience so much richer. We explored together, supported one another, and had an incredible time. There was no falling out—our season simply ended—but those friendships made that chapter of my life what it was.

Big coloring vibes lately! I'm all about bold, oversized designs over tiny, intricate details. 🎨✨

When I became a parent, I had friends who were in the same stage of life. We discovered new storytimes together, compared notes on different diaper brands, and exchanged ideas on how to introduce new foods to our babies. Nothing dramatic happened, but as our kids grew older, we naturally drifted apart. Still, their presence during that time had a lasting impact on me.

Some relationships in life naturally lend themselves to seasonal friendships, such as:

• Friendships from elementary school, middle school, high school, or college

• Friendships we develop during major life transitions (like becoming a parent or starting a new job)

• Friendships connected to a specific life event (like planning a wedding)

• Friendships we develop while traveling

Not everyone is meant to stay with us through every stage of life, and that’s okay. We can appreciate who someone was to us in the past without needing to bring them into our present. We don’t have to carry every person we’ve ever met through each new chapter—because not everyone has a place in every phase of our journey.

Some people come into our lives for a specific purpose, and there’s no need to rekindle the relationship. Instead, we can simply appreciate what we had—the role they played, the part of ourselves they helped bring out, or the lessons they taught us. That relationship may be complete because that particular season of our life is complete.

This event was postponed due to the hurricane devastation in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Join me in Boone, NC, from March 28-30.

Journal Prompt

What is a short-term relationship that had a big impact on your life?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• My friend Yung Pueblo has a new book called How to Love Better that I highly recommend!

• The Art of Comforting Someone: A Practical Guide, reviewed by Abigail Fagan in Psychology Today. 

• If Your Mom Was Extra Hard on You So You Would “Have a Good Life,” Raise Your Hand, by Julia Ries in SELF. 

• Do You Talk to Yourself? Watch this TED Talk with Ethan Kross on YouTube.