37 Comments
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Sowmya's avatar

I'm going to start practicing this - slowly but steadily.

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Anonymous's avatar

You're so right. I often share resources or links to causes that I care about on my Instagram story (e.g., how to sign up for a local blood drive when I'm at the clinic to donate blood, a local state petition, link to a fundraiser, or how to sign up for free flu shots or find unclaimed property under your name) but *I don't bother folks in person*.

If they come across something on my social media that's helpful, they'll click in. If not, no worries. What's encouraging is friends who've messaged me personally to thank me for being so open on my Story, whether it's my experience going through egg freezing or how I negotiated my medical bills down. In the past, I found it helpful when others shared their own tips and resources and I view it as passing it on. I'll continue to be mindful of not coming across as coercive

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Brittany  LITTLE's avatar

I'm learning about perimenopause right now and it's exciting! And how protien affects our hormonal changes for the better.

Also, sharing resources with folks. I have a medical nonprofit business and teach on IG and have a podcast. I'm the one whose telling people to get that check for caregiving, stop leaving free money from your health insurance on the table. Etc.

But I agree you don't have to change others just because you learned to take control over your circumstances to better yourself. Self improvement is a personal journey that requires patience

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Rebalynced Life's avatar

Yeah I used to be bad at this. Descending the mountain with my commandments to everyone who was around me, not understanding that they might have a different view or backround. Now I use Substack to find people who are interested in what I have to say!

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Jessica Alice's avatar

I NEED THIS!!! I'm that annoying person who can't stop going on about toxic vegetable oil, hidden sugars, etc 🤣 My current thing is morning protein, because I've discovered chicken for breakfast is life-changing. But you're right, (unfortunately) most people aren't ready to change.

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Ashley Mitchell's avatar

I feel slightly attacked, since as the eldest daughter, I believe everyone should follow my advice lol, but this was such a great piece both as a sharer and receiver.

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KL Chin's avatar

This is so true! Wisdom-- thank you!!

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Fatimata's avatar

Mind opening! I’m currently preparing a coach certification in nlp and talk all day long about It to everybody and any occasion 😁 is it a search for validation? Why do we need to « help » otherwise eventhough they never ask for it? Great article nedra. Txs for changing our lives bit by bit ❤️

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Shawn's avatar

Nedra, thank you for your inspiring and illuminating content.

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Michelle's avatar

This is such a well stated article and point of view ☺️ As a twin and former hive-mind church kid, I didn’t just think I had to share everything... it felt wrong not to. Like, actually mean.

Learning as a better-boundaried adult that it’s okay to keep some things for me has been huge. And honestly, it feels really good and self-satisfying sometimes to do something and know I’m the only one who knows it. Thanks for bringing this idea to us!

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Shawn's avatar

DITTO!

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Mary Upchurch's avatar

Well, now I’m embarrassed! Was really excited about a podcast I listened to and shared it with a couple people. Feel like I shouldn’t have done that now 🤦🏼‍♀️

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KL Chin's avatar

Nah, it's ok to share! It's just if you keep bringing it up and expecting people to change, that it crosses that line

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Jon (Animated)'s avatar

This is so true. A very inspiring piece, thank you.

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Ambar Ancira's avatar

you always know what I need to hear somehow. I have an overexcitement and controlling issue when it comes to my passion for healthy eating and how I think everyone needs to jump on board and your words were just what I needed. Thank you

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JaTannika's avatar

This was great. I enjoy reading Nedra's Nuggets. Please keep them coming.

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Paloma Griffin Hebert's avatar

Nedra, this is so helpful and awesome, and resonates deeply. Thank you so, so much, I'll be thinking about these words for a long time, and hope to apply them to daily life.

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Nadine J's avatar

Why do I feel attacked? 😤 After I began reading your book, I became a prophet for applying and enforcing boundaries. I bought the book and workbook for my best friend and mother. However, this is where I went wrong. Whenever my mom would have issues with boundaries, instead of answering with compassion and being a supportive ear, I would start lecturing as though I’m an authority. Girl, I still haven’t finished the book and I still have porous boundaries. Who am I? I need to stay in my lane! So now I no longer ask my mom if she read the book. I decided to turn inward and focus on me. I’m working on closing up those pores in my boundaries and saying no with grace and respect. I pray my mom comes around. However, if she doesn’t, I’ll still be here, loving her nonetheless.

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