Practicing What You Preach

How to better align your words with your actions

I have been reading this book, On Being a Master Therapist, by Jeffrey A. Kottler and Jon Carlson. The book is a great resource for mental health professionals. One of their biggest recommendations for a person that wants to become a master therapist is to get better at practicing what they preach to others. That is an important part of being a good therapist, but it is also how we live in alignment as human beings. 

If you are saying journaling is really helpful in the healing journey, then make sure you journal. If you are advising that someone tell people how they feel, then make sure you are transparent with the people in your life about your own feelings. We have to get into the habit of practicing the advice we offer up to others. 

Part of the challenge when it comes to practicing what we preach is consistency. We can tell someone that exercise is really good for their mental health, and we may work out on occasion, but it is hard to build a life around exercise. We can tell someone that it’s important to take care of themselves, but when it comes to our own lives, incorporating self-care on a regular basis may prove difficult. 

Here are some ways to become more congruent with what you are preaching and what you are practicing:

1. Figure out your why. Be clear about what your intentions are when you offer advice. If the advice that you are offering suggests that you have certain values, are you living by those values? If not, why are you offering this particular advice?

2. Reflect on your own behavior. If you say your family is a priority, how is that showing up in your actions? How do you prioritize them? How much love and care do you put into those relationships? How are you living according to what you’re saying? What would that behavior look like?

3. Be mindful. Take the time to notice what you say is valuable and what your values are. Once you take stock of that, then find small ways to put it into practice. If you tell other people that it is terrible to lie, and you determine that honesty is really important to you, then find small ways to be more truthful in your everyday life. 

4. Hold yourself accountable. If you say that something is important to you, be honest with yourself when your actions contradict your values. If you say you are forgiving, where is the proof? What have you let go of? Who have you shown grace to? Show yourself the receipts. Take responsibility for the work you still must do on yourself. 

Practicing what you preach is easier said than done, but it is important that we strive for self-actualization and do our best to live in accordance with who we think and say we are. 

Journal Prompts

1. What is a piece of advice you find yourself giving often? Do you take your own advice?

2. What are your values? How do you live in alignment with those values?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• Remote Work Isn’t Hurting Our Mental Well-Being. The Lack of Work-Life Boundaries Is, by Gleb Tsipursky, in Fortune.

• Breaking the Oath Part 1 on This Is Uncomfortable podcast. You can listen to the first part of this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts. 

• Breaking the Oath Part 2 on This Is Uncomfortable podcast. You can listen to the second part of this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts.