My New Book: The Drama Free Workbook
My new book, The Drama Free Workbook is available for preorder. Initiating the process of transforming our family relationships can be challenging, particularly in determining where to begin. The Drama Free Workbook is your comprehensive guide and practical resource for navigating and reconciling your emotions.
On February 21st, I will be in New York City engaging in a discussion with fellow therapist, Whitney Goodman, focusing on family relationships and, naturally, the concept of boundaries. We invite you to join us! I thoroughly enjoy the opportunity to meet you all in person.
Get tickets here!
From The Drama Free Workbook
There is a massive emphasis on resiliency in our culture. We give people very little time to sit in their stories before we rush along to the lesson or insist that they recognize the strength gained from their experiences. This aggressive, “brighter side” thinking takes away from what we feel. Let’s stop “getting over it” and start feeling it.
Ultimately, our goal is healing and growth, but there are times when we need to just be upset or sad about what we went through. These experiences can actually make us better people— once we learn how to understand and process them. I wouldn’t have been able to write Set Boundaries, Find Peace if not for a bit of trauma, but I also needed time to sit with what I went through.
“Sitting inside” our stories is different from being stuck inside them. When we’re stuck, our emotions don’t progress. When we’re stuck, the telling of the story stays the same, the emotions don’t evolve, and the frequency with which we tell the story remains the same. That doesn’t mean that sharing our stories serves no purpose. Sometimes when we’re telling a story repeatedly, we’re seeking some connection or validation. This can be part of the process of growth— but pay attention to what you’re looking for, and why.
When I work with clients who have phobias, I ask them to close their eyes and talk about what they’re afraid of. I have them do this over and over. I do this with the intention that they repeat their story until their emotion changes. My hope is that this process will desensitize them. I’m not saying they shouldn’t have any emotion, but I’m trying to help them decrease the intensity. When we rush ourselves through our stories, we reshape the stories themselves. We skip over how something made us feel to get to the part where we get over it. We force ourselves to be resilient even when we’re not.
An additional opportunity awaits: by pre-ordering The Drama Free Workbook, you will have the chance to participate in a master class with me on February 27th.
The quote from your book is so spot on. Our society is so uncomfortable with grief and suffering and pain, but you’re absolutely right that we need to sit in the grief and process the emotions and the experience to be able to move forward with true resilience and hope.
I love what you say about resilience 💕. I am a child of the 1950's where the message was keeping the stiff upper lip or grey skies are going to clear up so put on a happy face. These messages didn't let you feel sad or angry or disappointed. You were shamed or sent to your room or gaslighted for having normal feelings.