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Nadia aka JunePearl's avatar

This was on time for me! With the reframing I hope you can write another article to expound on the How. How to forgive yourself and How to show yourself grace. I feel those are the tricky ones that leave me and others feeling stuck. Love your Nedra Nuggets!

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Rachel Malcolm's avatar

"When situations don’t work out the way we hope, instead of focusing on regret, we can search for the small good that came from them." - this is so helpful, thank you. Refocusing on the positive can make such a huge difference, especially to the way we relate to situations from the past that we cannot change.

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Brittany  LITTLE's avatar

I can reframe my regret of letting go of my relationship by knowing I made the choice to choose myself and my peace over the person and knowing that I made the best decision with the information I had and that my decision was backed up with supportive friends and family. And that I need to forgive myself for allowing myself to feel emotionally invested and letting my guard down with the person and letting things go on too long to the point of getting hurt bc I'm hard headed and let my comfort trigger get the best of me when I was at peace with the person within my limits and boundaries I was comfortable with. But im proud of myself for choosing myself as a form of growth and healing.

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Gabriel Grove's avatar

I regret not spending more time with my dad while he was alive and well. I’ll forever regret that, but I’ve decided to love on all those who I love with the hope doing better and finding some reprieve. 💐

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Jessica Alice's avatar

"the small good" - I love this reframe!

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Negar Kamali's avatar

Yes, absolutely true. Honestly, there were signs and i had a feeling that sth's not right but instead of listening to that feeling and accepting it, i suppressed it (i did it automatically did it because it had become my habit. Little did i know the damage it had done to me over the years). Nowadays, if i have that feeling, i dtry to listen to it (i need to work on the accepting it part much more).

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Kelly Liken Booker's avatar

Wow, this really resonated with me. I love the idea of regret as a teacher rather than something to run from. So often, we look back and wish we had done things differently, but what if we saw those moments as guides instead of burdens? This perspective feels so freeing—especially as someone navigating big life transitions. Thank you for this reminder to approach my past with curiosity and self-compassion rather than judgment.

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Suef52's avatar

Thanks for this gentle reminder.

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Gena's avatar

I appreciate this post very much. My mother passed away suddenly in December. We were estranged at the time and she deliberately excluded me from all communication about the events that led up to her death. Her last words to me were very hurtful and cruel. I am now wrestling with how to grieve her while simultaneously feeling deeply hurt by her actions and the lack of ability for repair. I'm working through this in therapy, and I just wanted to comment that there are so many flavors of regret; some you can work through, and some that you just have to figure out how to live with.

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Negar Kamali's avatar

I used to see my being fired from a language institute as a bad experience. I've now reframed it as a "wake-up call" that "Teaching English wasn't my true calling" (After three years of reflection).

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Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

Sometimes, a "firing" or "release" is the change we didn't know we needed. Time shows us that some things work out for our good.

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Sallie Blackmon's avatar

This one really hit home. I was actually thinking this way. Now I feel validated in thought process. It feels good not to allow regret to weigh me down. ☺️

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Patricia White's avatar

I really needed to read this! Saving this, there will be moments I will need to re-read it as I have deep regret that even though I’ve learned to move on from…it sometimes comes back to haunt me. I miss friendships that were lost and your suggestion to focus on and remember the positive things they added to my life is something I’ve always done in any negative situation I’ve faced. It helps but the heartache of the loss never fully goes away—it just gets temporarily buried until something happens to bring it back. That’s when I will need this to re-read. Thank you!

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Suef52's avatar

This has also happened to me over the years. I have recently just looked at the "good times" and what the relationship bought me, as well as the lessons.

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Tara's avatar

Appreciated this so much. As we live we realize regrets are inevitable and at some point are forced to move towards acceptance of our reality vs our expectations. To expand on what you’ve written here I would love to learn more about the connection between regret and resentment.

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Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

That's a good idea for another article!

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Carla's avatar

I like the practice of asking the question, “Will I regret this decision?”

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Laurilee's avatar

This is a great idea for a journal entry. I especially love the reframing part where you stated "When situations don’t work out the way we hope, instead of focusing on regret, we can search for the small good that came from them. It might not be life-changing, but it can still be meaningful"... so often when we hear "regret" it is always coined as something bad, but it can be considered "good" too. Thank you for providing an alternative viewpoint on this!

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Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

Regret is associated with something terrible, and the alternative view helps us deal with what we choose.

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Mohika Mudgal's avatar

enjoyed your thoughts on regret & making peace with it <3

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