Loving Ourselves Better

Reassessing our needs to keep current with our practices

Join me to Boone, NC, for a weekend of building healthy boundaries.

Our self-care, self-nurture, and self-love should evolve. It’s important that we take stock of our needs and determine what practices are still working, what we need to let go of, and what new things we may want to try. Asking ourselves these questions from time to time can be helpful to make sure that our practices are in alignment with who we are currently. I remember hearing someone say that they didn’t like flowers, but years later found themselves wanting them. That’s not a huge change, but it is a shift in the way they receive love and care. 

It can be challenging to weave new practices into everything that we already have to do, but we have to find ways to incorporate a few things into our days and weeks to care for ourselves. Maybe, right now, self-care for you could look like:

• Snoozing for ten minutes 

• Taking a shower at night so you don’t have to rush in the morning

• Spending a little extra money on the hair products you’ve been eyeing at Ulta

• Upgrading your contact lenses from weekly to daily because you forget to change them (this one’s for me!)

• Having a quick breakfast so you can have more time to read in the morning

• Not watching something triggering before bed

• Having longer conversations with friends

• Limiting contact with certain people

What is your mind, body, and spirit moving you toward and away from? Your body will let you know. You’ll have a headache, stomachache, or trouble sleeping. It will let you know there’s something that’s happening that needs to change. Ask yourself, what is delighting you, right now, in this season of your life?

One practice that I recently changed is waking up early. Well, I still wake up early, just not as early. I was waking up at 5:30 am everyday, and now I wake up at 6 am. Those extra 30 minutes of sleep was exactly what I needed for my current pace of life. I had been telling myself that I needed to get up at 5:30 because I needed the quiet time, but I realized the structure of my life had changed. I get that quiet time while I’m working from home and everyone else has left the house. I don’t need it first thing in the morning. I don’t need to give up sleep to have it. So that practice has changed. 

Another thing that I have started doing to take care of myself as I work is to put a tea kettle in my home office. I am a lover of tea. I have a whole set up with different kinds of teas and a mug. As I am working from my desk, I just roll over in my chair, pop my tea kettle on and just keep it moving. It is delightful! It feels really good to have those things on hand. 

We change. All human beings do. Assess what you need now. 

Journal Prompt

What do you need now? How can you take better care of yourself?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• How to Be a Mindful Drinker, on the How To! podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts.  

• Black Liturgies, by Cole Arthur Riley. This book is a soothing balm for the human experience. Its resonance with various life encounters ensures I will return to it repeatedly.  Bravo Cole, for crafting a work that resonates deeply with the complexities of the human journey. You can find the book on Amazon and Bookshop. 

• The Vital Spark, by Lisa Marchiano, LCSW. This book offers an invaluable exploration of feminine empowerment, providing essential guidance for people seeking to reclaim their voices. Through a compelling blend of storytelling and real-life examples, the book serves as a motivating force, illuminating the consequences of silence and the power of self-expression. By delving into the delicate balance between self-care and altruism, Lisa offers readers a roadmap to finding harmony in their lives. This insightful guide is an indispensable companion for those on a journey toward personal empowerment and fulfillment. You can find it on Amazon and Bookshop.