My mother died on March 15th 1976. She died after a long battle with stomach cancer. When the doctor said she had passed I felt a sensation I never felt before or after. I felt like I was dreaming and I could not feel my feet on the ground as I walked out of the hospital. It ripped my very soul from my body. I was never the same person after that moment. I became the serious, angry person in the world. I didn't care whether I lived or died for some years. But life went on and my busy IT career and marriage took over my life. I retired in 2012 early from a series of life events. My marriage and IT career went away and I fell into a deep depression. After my retirement every March 15th is a very hard day. It stops me in my tracks. Some years I cry and others I sit and stare out the window all day. The hardest part is re-living that morning. From the moment we were told to get to the hospital right away to the moment the Dr came out the room and told us she had passed. She suffered so much. She had such a will to live she hung on about a year after she could have closed her eyes and let it go. I don't know what haunts me that morning or how much she suffed.
Thank you so much for shedding more light on this particularly sensitive subject. Grief can indeed utterly destroy us if not dealt with in the right way & without the right support alongside us while going through it.
Also I loved your convo on the breakfast club
& the article you shared about how interacting with strangers impacts us positively.
Yes!! Extremely true. I’m going through this now. I just moved in with my girlfriend. Eighteen months ago I unexpectedly left New York City. Etc. I write about this here:
Oh one of the most difficult emotions for us humans! As always, i loved reading your article Nedra🤍
One of the heaviest things that I have been grieving for a few months now is what has been happening in Iran, to my country and my people. At the beginning it was so heavy that I cried every night and every morning. But just as you said, i had to allow myself to feel the full pain. And slowly I was able to move through it. Lots of meditation, lots of compassion, and lots of patience. I still grieve. I still feel the pain. But I flow with mor ease✨
P.S. i love the lil recommendations at the end of each article :) thank you!
Great nugget! I retired almost 3 years ago but am still working part time for my previous employer. My difficulty in leaving altogether is rooted in adjusting to losing my professional identity…grieving my past positions and influence. I’m more aware of that now and am working on pulling away slowly, at a pace that allows me to breathe through it.
This nugget was so good. Thank you! I’m grieving the loss of life and friendships that surrounded the person whom I loss. It can be very grey and not always black and white
This really hit home with me and helped me understand so much of the sadness I’m feeling surrounding changed relationships. I’m grieving hard for a relationship that I thought was rock solid and also for a time in my life that was filled with good times.
Thank you for this. I recently had to end a friendship and its been 3 weeks and I'm still upset. I couldn't understand why I was upset and still am because it had to end, but now I understand why. I'm grieving the loss of the connection and the good times, the kindness. I miss that. It's interesting because I feel some of the grief release now that I've admitted to myself that though there was less good, i miss those times. I thought I was betraying myself for missing the friendship. I kept reminding myself of the negative to make the grief disappear. The friendship wasnt that black and white! Thank you for this. I'm going to read it again and again 😊.
Thank you. This definition of grief resonated with me. The examples of grieving a relationship sparked an ah-ha moment. I feel understanding my emotions allows for healing and growth that I didn’t know I needed.
Thank you for this. Your words allowed me to see that I grieve so much more than I understand. All of my life I’ve just narrowed grief down to death and left it there. But it’s so much bigger and broader. I appreciate and love your words for helping me to see the bigger picture. ❤️
Thank you for this post. I feel so much grief at times. This made so much sense to me about our love for the person. I will remember to read this on days when I’m feeling sad and flat.
My mother died on March 15th 1976. She died after a long battle with stomach cancer. When the doctor said she had passed I felt a sensation I never felt before or after. I felt like I was dreaming and I could not feel my feet on the ground as I walked out of the hospital. It ripped my very soul from my body. I was never the same person after that moment. I became the serious, angry person in the world. I didn't care whether I lived or died for some years. But life went on and my busy IT career and marriage took over my life. I retired in 2012 early from a series of life events. My marriage and IT career went away and I fell into a deep depression. After my retirement every March 15th is a very hard day. It stops me in my tracks. Some years I cry and others I sit and stare out the window all day. The hardest part is re-living that morning. From the moment we were told to get to the hospital right away to the moment the Dr came out the room and told us she had passed. She suffered so much. She had such a will to live she hung on about a year after she could have closed her eyes and let it go. I don't know what haunts me that morning or how much she suffed.
Thank you so much for shedding more light on this particularly sensitive subject. Grief can indeed utterly destroy us if not dealt with in the right way & without the right support alongside us while going through it.
Also I loved your convo on the breakfast club
& the article you shared about how interacting with strangers impacts us positively.
Yes!! Extremely true. I’m going through this now. I just moved in with my girlfriend. Eighteen months ago I unexpectedly left New York City. Etc. I write about this here:
https://reallife82.substack.com/p/obsessive-compulsive-disorder
Oh one of the most difficult emotions for us humans! As always, i loved reading your article Nedra🤍
One of the heaviest things that I have been grieving for a few months now is what has been happening in Iran, to my country and my people. At the beginning it was so heavy that I cried every night and every morning. But just as you said, i had to allow myself to feel the full pain. And slowly I was able to move through it. Lots of meditation, lots of compassion, and lots of patience. I still grieve. I still feel the pain. But I flow with mor ease✨
P.S. i love the lil recommendations at the end of each article :) thank you!
I love the words not grieving for the person but for the loss of relationship. Speaks volumes 💕
This hit me hard & I too am going thru a huge loss...the dreams...wow...you hit it on the head!!
Great nugget! I retired almost 3 years ago but am still working part time for my previous employer. My difficulty in leaving altogether is rooted in adjusting to losing my professional identity…grieving my past positions and influence. I’m more aware of that now and am working on pulling away slowly, at a pace that allows me to breathe through it.
This nugget was so good. Thank you! I’m grieving the loss of life and friendships that surrounded the person whom I loss. It can be very grey and not always black and white
Thank you for this post. I can definitely relate.
This really hit home with me and helped me understand so much of the sadness I’m feeling surrounding changed relationships. I’m grieving hard for a relationship that I thought was rock solid and also for a time in my life that was filled with good times.
Thank you for this. I recently had to end a friendship and its been 3 weeks and I'm still upset. I couldn't understand why I was upset and still am because it had to end, but now I understand why. I'm grieving the loss of the connection and the good times, the kindness. I miss that. It's interesting because I feel some of the grief release now that I've admitted to myself that though there was less good, i miss those times. I thought I was betraying myself for missing the friendship. I kept reminding myself of the negative to make the grief disappear. The friendship wasnt that black and white! Thank you for this. I'm going to read it again and again 😊.
I appreciate this. I have a better understanding now of why I wake up sad most days, for years, without knowing why I was doing so.
I am actively giving myself compassion by placing gratitude and love alongside each thing I grieve.
Thank you. This definition of grief resonated with me. The examples of grieving a relationship sparked an ah-ha moment. I feel understanding my emotions allows for healing and growth that I didn’t know I needed.
Thank you for this. Your words allowed me to see that I grieve so much more than I understand. All of my life I’ve just narrowed grief down to death and left it there. But it’s so much bigger and broader. I appreciate and love your words for helping me to see the bigger picture. ❤️
Thank you for this post. I feel so much grief at times. This made so much sense to me about our love for the person. I will remember to read this on days when I’m feeling sad and flat.