22 Comments
User's avatar
Catherine Lynch& Glenn Collins's avatar

Oof. Yes. In our honest desire to help others feel better we invalidate their feelings and cause greater harm. Guilty as charged. But hopefully less frequently than before.

Expand full comment
Ashley Holstrom's avatar

Mmm. Lots to chew on here. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Nelda's avatar

🤎✨

Expand full comment
Niall McGivern's avatar

Cool journal prompt!

Expand full comment
MYLEIK.'s avatar

Wow. This is such a good story to share because I don't know that we can always see the impact of our words OR that we don't have to respond with our experience.

Expand full comment
Kira Buckley's avatar

“Reducing someone else’s experience.”

Some potent medicine here! 🤎✨

Expand full comment
Suef52's avatar

A couple of years ago I entered a tournament with an experienced player. I was a newbie. Before play began I said "I feel nervous". Her reply was "No you don't. You feel excited". Talk about being talked out of my experience 🙂

Expand full comment
Sheila's avatar

I appreciate perspective on the world, i can see it’s taken work to get there. Boy do I appreciate this articulation! It is not the pain olympics indeed.

Expand full comment
Andrea Davis's avatar

I always appreciate your 'nuggets' in my inbox, Nedra. Thank you! This was a great one!

Expand full comment
Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

You're welcome!

Expand full comment
Margaritte T.'s avatar

I’ve been on both ends of this issue. I’m bringing more awareness to when I do it as I felt very diminished when it happened to me. Very well written, thank you!

Expand full comment
Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

Many of us have likely been on both sides. It's very mature to acknowledge when we've reduced someone's experience. When we know better, we can apologize for earlier mistakes and correct them more quickly.

Expand full comment
Martha's avatar

“It’s not the pain Olympics” such a great way of describing a key to empathy!

Expand full comment
Arminta's avatar

I appreciate this. I wish this could be a more talked about topic.

Expand full comment
ann flaharty's avatar

Perfect timing on this subject. Thank you!

Expand full comment
Ruth Klein's avatar

This!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment
Kara Norman's avatar

Thank you for saying it! I loved this. Your voice is so clear and warm, thank you Nedra.

Expand full comment
Nedra  Glover Tawwab's avatar

You're welcome!

Expand full comment
Rolando Andrade's avatar

Great share. Thnks. Pain is a very subjective processe. And in the case of emotional pain, it doesn't need any logic or valid reason. Has I usually say, it hurts just because it hurts

Expand full comment
Suef52's avatar

Yes. I have just discovered the word "subjective". Our experiences are ours to own.

Expand full comment