This is beautiful Nedra. Letting go can be hard. It can be related to trimming the split ends of our hair to allow room for hair retention and growth. We cut off a certain part and it feels like we won't grow that inch but we fail to see that that's where the real growth starts and b4 you know it, the hair actually grows past the inch we cut out.
Letting go gives room for growth and development. This is something we must pray for. The ability to let go of things that aren't good to us or in our favour.
I love this. Historic friendships are great, but they require both parties to hold space for change and be okay and supportive when the friendship is looking different at times. I believe that's the only way the friendship can continue and still be healthy and grow.
Like a house built for all four seasons a country may have. If you only build it to withstand summer, it will be unlivable in winter. But when you equip it for heat, cold, storms, children, marriage, changes, if you equip it with understanding when there's a lot less communication because of circumstances, if you can just welcome each other because your circumstances and theirs finally allow for you to draw closer again to each other — that's when a friendship is built for all seasons.
Rarely anything remains the same and it's only when we're okay with that, that we have a chance of protecting what we want to continue.
I completely relate to this. After my nervous system implosion and the passing of my dad, I've outgrown many things and many people. It's all part of grieving.
I can relate to this message. Sometimes, it's not necessary to rekindle old friendships, relationships or a certain lifestyle, especially if we've outgrown it.
It doesn't mean we aren't at peace with it, but because it doesn't align with our current self, values or who we want to be.
Thank you for reminding me to always make peace with the past and embrace the best version of me.
This is an awesome message that I can definitely relate to and have experienced. Letting go can be hard for sure. We must accept the shifts and transitions as we grow and evolve.
Nedra, this is the exact message I needed to read in order to let go of a friendship that we both have outgrown. It has been so hard to accept that this 18 year friendship has ended, especially because I had romantic feelings for my friend. This was the push I needed for acceptance. Thank you.
I thought when I moved back to my hometown i would resume friendships and relationships with cousins. I thought my calendar would be booked with so many different things because I would be invited to more things now that I was back among the familiar. That did not happen at all! Life continued just as it did when I lived further away. It was disappointing. It's not a matter of picking up where we left off, especially if we have lived completely separate lives in vastly different environments. I thought the past was sufficient to bring us all back together. Twas not the case. I was disappointed but I came to accept it.
Wow. The part about friendship really spoke to me – time passes and it's so easy to only remember the good parts of the friendship, and completely ignore the reasons why you're no longer close! What a fantastic approach, and what an article! ⭐
What a lovely newsletter, Nedra. What helps me be at peace with things is knowing that there are two kinds of friendships in adulthood: memorial friendships and active friendships.
Memorial friendships are based on affection and have infrequent contact.
Active friendships are based on mutual interests and have frequent contact.
Knowing the language of friendship helps me know how to regard these connections and calibrate my expectations accordingly.
Until recently I was stuck on how things used to be, how my friendships and connections used to be. The experiences were so filling that I couldn't let go of it not being that way anymore. Soon I realized I was forcing these experiences and it was just me forcing it, keeping the connection going and the trips too. I let it go in 2023-2024 and I feel much more at ease. Did it take a while to accept and heal? Yes. The memories and love are there and that's all that I have accept.
I was huge on reconnecting with old neighbors, people in my old neighborhood. The works! For instance, Elementary and middle school friends. Friends from childhood in the state my dad lived . Lots of great connections. But now, I'm in the season of enjoying the people who are here now. My people who've been here for me for the last year to decade who are continuous and consistent in my life.it feels good. Also, past memories comes with moments of sadness I don't want to always revisit. It's nostalgic but it's like this longing sad feeling at times. So I'm good where I am now
This is beautiful Nedra. Letting go can be hard. It can be related to trimming the split ends of our hair to allow room for hair retention and growth. We cut off a certain part and it feels like we won't grow that inch but we fail to see that that's where the real growth starts and b4 you know it, the hair actually grows past the inch we cut out.
Letting go gives room for growth and development. This is something we must pray for. The ability to let go of things that aren't good to us or in our favour.
Thank you again, Nedra.
This was timely for me to read. thank you.
I love this. Historic friendships are great, but they require both parties to hold space for change and be okay and supportive when the friendship is looking different at times. I believe that's the only way the friendship can continue and still be healthy and grow.
Like a house built for all four seasons a country may have. If you only build it to withstand summer, it will be unlivable in winter. But when you equip it for heat, cold, storms, children, marriage, changes, if you equip it with understanding when there's a lot less communication because of circumstances, if you can just welcome each other because your circumstances and theirs finally allow for you to draw closer again to each other — that's when a friendship is built for all seasons.
Rarely anything remains the same and it's only when we're okay with that, that we have a chance of protecting what we want to continue.
I completely relate to this. After my nervous system implosion and the passing of my dad, I've outgrown many things and many people. It's all part of grieving.
I can relate to this message. Sometimes, it's not necessary to rekindle old friendships, relationships or a certain lifestyle, especially if we've outgrown it.
It doesn't mean we aren't at peace with it, but because it doesn't align with our current self, values or who we want to be.
Thank you for reminding me to always make peace with the past and embrace the best version of me.
This is such a great reminder to take stock of all we are holding on to that no longer serves us. There is grief in that as well.
This is an awesome message that I can definitely relate to and have experienced. Letting go can be hard for sure. We must accept the shifts and transitions as we grow and evolve.
A great reminder!
Nedra, this is the exact message I needed to read in order to let go of a friendship that we both have outgrown. It has been so hard to accept that this 18 year friendship has ended, especially because I had romantic feelings for my friend. This was the push I needed for acceptance. Thank you.
I thought when I moved back to my hometown i would resume friendships and relationships with cousins. I thought my calendar would be booked with so many different things because I would be invited to more things now that I was back among the familiar. That did not happen at all! Life continued just as it did when I lived further away. It was disappointing. It's not a matter of picking up where we left off, especially if we have lived completely separate lives in vastly different environments. I thought the past was sufficient to bring us all back together. Twas not the case. I was disappointed but I came to accept it.
I want to be open to creating new memories however I am holding on so tightly to the past that my hands are full. I so needed this. Thank you!
Love this and thanks for the tips at the end
Wow. The part about friendship really spoke to me – time passes and it's so easy to only remember the good parts of the friendship, and completely ignore the reasons why you're no longer close! What a fantastic approach, and what an article! ⭐
What a lovely newsletter, Nedra. What helps me be at peace with things is knowing that there are two kinds of friendships in adulthood: memorial friendships and active friendships.
Memorial friendships are based on affection and have infrequent contact.
Active friendships are based on mutual interests and have frequent contact.
Knowing the language of friendship helps me know how to regard these connections and calibrate my expectations accordingly.
Until recently I was stuck on how things used to be, how my friendships and connections used to be. The experiences were so filling that I couldn't let go of it not being that way anymore. Soon I realized I was forcing these experiences and it was just me forcing it, keeping the connection going and the trips too. I let it go in 2023-2024 and I feel much more at ease. Did it take a while to accept and heal? Yes. The memories and love are there and that's all that I have accept.
I was huge on reconnecting with old neighbors, people in my old neighborhood. The works! For instance, Elementary and middle school friends. Friends from childhood in the state my dad lived . Lots of great connections. But now, I'm in the season of enjoying the people who are here now. My people who've been here for me for the last year to decade who are continuous and consistent in my life.it feels good. Also, past memories comes with moments of sadness I don't want to always revisit. It's nostalgic but it's like this longing sad feeling at times. So I'm good where I am now