Get Busy Living

Living life with the understanding that it won’t last forever

When we lose people, no matter their age or the circumstances, there is grief. It doesn’t matter if we know the loss is coming, or we were caught off guard. Grief still finds us. That grief colors how we look at death and many of us live in fear of dying, or try to ignore the fact that we won’t be here forever. So, how do we live our lives with death in mind?

I have a Pinterest board that’s called, “While I Live.” Some people call that a “Bucket List,” or “Things to Do Before I Die,” but I prefer to reframe it. I focus on what I want to do, where I want to go, and the foods I want to eat while I’m living. When I think of it this way I am centered on living my life. 

So many of us are just existing. We are here as just bodies going through our routines, and we’re not intentional.  I don’t consider myself a minimalist, but I am an intentionalist. When we are intentional, we are clear about the purpose, meaning, and intent behind what we do. That doesn’t mean everything has to be super deep, but we should think about the choices we make. We should ask ourselves why we’re going to certain places and participating in certain activities. Asking ourselves these questions and being thoughtful in this way allows us to live on purpose. 

We also need to remember that we don’t need to wait for milestones to celebrate life. Our 14th birthday can be just as important as our 16th. Our 44th can be just as momentous as our 50th. We can gather our family on a random weekend in the middle of the spring. We don’t need to wait for a particular reunion or holiday. Every birthday is a milestone. Every gathering is important. 

When we think about life as a finite space it can make us anxious and cause us to feel paralyzed. We can move away from that fear and be more present in our lives by doing the following:

1. Focus on how you want to fill your life. Place your attention on how you want to spend the days, weeks, and months ahead of you. 

2. Take time to listen to the stories of older people. I love reading books, listening to podcasts, and watching movies that center around older people. Hearing about their lives and learning from them is really helpful and offers a unique perspective.  

3. Be grateful for the time you have. Our lives all have an ending. If we are so focused on that ending we will miss everything that happens in between, and life is what happens in between. Be present and thankful for it. 

We have to get comfortable with the fact that we won’t be here forever. We need to make peace with it so we can get busy living instead of existing in fear of dying. 

Journal Prompt

• What is on your “While I Live” list?

• What feelings do you have about death?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• Fighting Constantly After Baby: Read This, by Jessica Grose in The New York Times.

• What Do You Do When a Project Ends? We Explore Creative Grief and How to Deal With It, by Danielle Pender in It’s Nice That. 

• You 2.0: Slow Down! on the Hidden Brain podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts. 

• When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them with Nedra Glover Tawwab on The Shift podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts or wherever you stream podcasts.