Social media has blurred the lines between knowing about someone and knowing who someone is.
It is very important to be aware of that and strive to maintain geniune connections with people rather than succumbing to the illusion of knowing someone because you follow them online.
I didn’t realize how true this was until I read it! We think we know so much about a person if they share on social media, but realistically we probably haven’t even scratched the surface of who they are!
It is wild the lives we have lived and the people we have been. To think that it isn't only the parts of us people don't see of you in a moment or online but also the past lives of you tucked away in envelopes awaiting moments they are taken out and relived.
Isn’t it crazy that picking up a phone to call someone even thought we have them tethered to us these days, feels like a big deal. God I miss those simpler days. Less socials - more IRL is my mantra for 2024!
Literally why I slowly stopped using Instagram over the years. I want to share my stories with people intentionally rather passively (and vice versa). Let's chit chat about it versus a like or heart eyes as acknowledgment.
While I agree that we shouldn't assume our closest friends and family are following us to keep up with our lives, I also believe that we should personally deliver these important life updates IRL before posting them on the internet...
I personally would not be able to maintain acting shocked once someone gets around to telling me after they've expressed it to the world already it wouldn't feel genuine to me...
I believe the best shot we have at building these IRL relationships is telling our closest first and having things that people on the internet just don't know about...
Nedra, I enjoyed reading this newsletter. It's very timely for this season in my life. I wonder if you'd be willing to say more, perhaps in a different newsletter, about the relationships IRL and how they extend to social media. I have often felt sad and angry when I have shared parts of my life on social media that my friends IRL have not responded to. No likes, no loves, no interaction, no happy birthday, no congrats... I feel petty in admitting this but the truth is, I tend to feel hurt when the support IRL does not carry over to the social media realm. What does this say about me? I've read various perspectives that this is immature and that social media should not be considered 'real'. But I beg to differ and believe others may feel similarly to me.
This made me think about reconnecting with my high school classmates on Facebook. It made me excited to attend our 15th year class reunion. But when the reunion rolled around, it felt like we didn’t have anything to talk about. We were all caught up on each other’s lives. Considering how excited I was, I was a bit disappointed. And it made me think that for as long as we were connected online, there was no need to go out of my way to see them in person. That was nearly 15 years ago. We will see if I have a change of heart in time for our 30th.
I came up in the era where you HAD to be in person for connection and memorize a phone number and just when myspace came out. Social media is misleading.
I've always valued human connection. I have human interaction regularly .
People don't realize how lonely I really am from life experiences and adult traumas. Im very resilient so i never stay down for to long i just move on unless something really bothers me. Also, i wish ppl really knew what's in the back of my mind versus what actually comes out my mouth out of perfection and expected social Performance. An acquaintance said I never knew half the stuff you're telling me I always see you smiling and assumed you're so strong. Another told me she was in disbelief when I said I was lonely.
Nedra, I was just talking about this topic to a friend! Thank you for so eloquently writing about this and we should keep a heightened curiosity about others.
The irony is that I want to post this on Instagram for the world to see. ;) What a valuable message for everyone. The less time that I spend on social media, the more time I have to make those fantastic IRL connections. It took a bit of time to regain my footing IRL (after COVID), but once I signed up for classes and began attending events it became easier to connect with others and reconnect myself.
YES . ALL OF THIS
Social media has blurred the lines between knowing about someone and knowing who someone is.
It is very important to be aware of that and strive to maintain geniune connections with people rather than succumbing to the illusion of knowing someone because you follow them online.
YES!! love this... "people are more than what they post." My husband has been saying for a year now "people are multiple things..."
Thanks for sharing this! Great Read!
I didn’t realize how true this was until I read it! We think we know so much about a person if they share on social media, but realistically we probably haven’t even scratched the surface of who they are!
It is wild the lives we have lived and the people we have been. To think that it isn't only the parts of us people don't see of you in a moment or online but also the past lives of you tucked away in envelopes awaiting moments they are taken out and relived.
Isn’t it crazy that picking up a phone to call someone even thought we have them tethered to us these days, feels like a big deal. God I miss those simpler days. Less socials - more IRL is my mantra for 2024!
Literally why I slowly stopped using Instagram over the years. I want to share my stories with people intentionally rather passively (and vice versa). Let's chit chat about it versus a like or heart eyes as acknowledgment.
While I agree that we shouldn't assume our closest friends and family are following us to keep up with our lives, I also believe that we should personally deliver these important life updates IRL before posting them on the internet...
I personally would not be able to maintain acting shocked once someone gets around to telling me after they've expressed it to the world already it wouldn't feel genuine to me...
I believe the best shot we have at building these IRL relationships is telling our closest first and having things that people on the internet just don't know about...
Nedra, I enjoyed reading this newsletter. It's very timely for this season in my life. I wonder if you'd be willing to say more, perhaps in a different newsletter, about the relationships IRL and how they extend to social media. I have often felt sad and angry when I have shared parts of my life on social media that my friends IRL have not responded to. No likes, no loves, no interaction, no happy birthday, no congrats... I feel petty in admitting this but the truth is, I tend to feel hurt when the support IRL does not carry over to the social media realm. What does this say about me? I've read various perspectives that this is immature and that social media should not be considered 'real'. But I beg to differ and believe others may feel similarly to me.
This made me think about reconnecting with my high school classmates on Facebook. It made me excited to attend our 15th year class reunion. But when the reunion rolled around, it felt like we didn’t have anything to talk about. We were all caught up on each other’s lives. Considering how excited I was, I was a bit disappointed. And it made me think that for as long as we were connected online, there was no need to go out of my way to see them in person. That was nearly 15 years ago. We will see if I have a change of heart in time for our 30th.
I came up in the era where you HAD to be in person for connection and memorize a phone number and just when myspace came out. Social media is misleading.
I've always valued human connection. I have human interaction regularly .
People don't realize how lonely I really am from life experiences and adult traumas. Im very resilient so i never stay down for to long i just move on unless something really bothers me. Also, i wish ppl really knew what's in the back of my mind versus what actually comes out my mouth out of perfection and expected social Performance. An acquaintance said I never knew half the stuff you're telling me I always see you smiling and assumed you're so strong. Another told me she was in disbelief when I said I was lonely.
Actually i have two sths:
1. I really have three faces (based on that quote).
2. I'm an ambivert. My friends usually discover my introversion later.
Thank you so much for this! I have been so guilty of this for so long, I hope I can remember your advice and retrain myself before I speak. 🙏🏻
Nedra, I was just talking about this topic to a friend! Thank you for so eloquently writing about this and we should keep a heightened curiosity about others.
The irony is that I want to post this on Instagram for the world to see. ;) What a valuable message for everyone. The less time that I spend on social media, the more time I have to make those fantastic IRL connections. It took a bit of time to regain my footing IRL (after COVID), but once I signed up for classes and began attending events it became easier to connect with others and reconnect myself.
Thanks for this reminder to keep listening for the mystery in each person.