You Belong Here

Navigating imposter syndrome when life levels up

I was asked to be part of Vice President Kamala Harris’s 107 Days Tour, and I had a moment that might not immediately be labeled as imposter syndrome. Still, I found myself wondering, “How did she find me?” “Does she know who I am?” and “Am I really the kind of person who speaks to the Vice President?”

When we think about imposter syndrome, we often associate it with feeling undeserving. But it can also show up as disbelief about our circumstances, even when we have done the work to earn our place. There can be awe mixed in with the fear—a sense of “Wow, how did I get here?” That moment of amazement is not always insecurity. Sometimes it is simply the shock of realizing how far we have come.

Imposter syndrome can come from our own internal dialogue, but it can also be shaped by what we have been told by others or by the conditions we grew up in. If we were raised with scarcity, limitation, or messages about what was possible for us, success can feel disorienting. When something good happens, we may think, “Whose life is this?” It can feel almost like an out-of-body experience.

When imposter syndrome shows up, we might:

• Quit
  We may believe the opportunity is too good to be true, or feel afraid to step outside our comfort zone.

• Resent our position
  We might feel irritated about being asked to do more or to stretch in new ways, complaining instead of recognizing the opportunity as a gift.

• Feel anxious or depressed
  Imposter syndrome can trigger worry, uncertainty, and self-doubt. Over time, that confusion can develop into anxiety. Feeling like we do not belong can also lead to isolation, which may contribute to depression.

On the other hand, some of us respond to imposter syndrome by:

• Putting in more effort to fully own where we are
  We practice, study, and prepare so we feel ready for what life has placed in front of us.

• Claiming our place
  We center ourselves in the belief that we deserve to be where we are and recognize the opportunity as the result of sustained effort and growth.

Affirmations can be especially helpful when imposter syndrome arises:

I am where I have worked hard to be
This is useful when imposter syndrome shows up as disbelief. We may question how we arrived where we are or why we were chosen instead of someone else.

Others see something in me that I struggle to see in myself
This can help when imposter syndrome shows up as awe. Sometimes we are so accustomed to our own skills that we do not recognize their value or the expertise they require.

Whatever skills I lack, I can learn
This is helpful when imposter syndrome shows up as feeling unprepared. Few roles come without a learning curve. Most require us to learn new systems, work with new people, and adopt new practices. Growth takes time, but learning is always possible.

Sometimes our early programming places limits on how far we believe we can go in the game of life. But it may be possible to level up beyond anything we once imagined.

Journal Prompt

• Does Imposter Syndrome show up for you as disbelief, awe, or feeling unprepared? How do you move through these feelings?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• ‘Bridgerton’ Tackles the Orgasm Gap, by Catherine Pearson, in The New York Times.

• Couples Are Using ChatGPT to Resolve Arguments. Is That Lazy or Brilliant?, by Brittany Wong in HuffPost.

• Why “We Should Hang Out” Won’t Make You Real Friends on Life Kit podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you stream podcasts.