There Is No Expiration Date on Your Dreams:
How Age Based Goals and Expectations Set Us Up for Disappointment
I went to Wayne State University in the middle of Detroit. It’s a commuter college, which means most of the students live off campus. The average age of a student must be about 30. At 22 I went to the same school for a graduate program and there were people there who were in their 50s.
One of my good friends was in her 40s. She was a police officer, decided she wanted to stop doing that, and went to school for social work. Another man was a retired engineer who’d decided he wanted to be a social worker.
I never got the impression that there was a limit to what you could do based on your age because I was surrounded by people operating in a space simply because they wanted to be there.
You can start your life as a pilot and end it as an artist if you want to. Just because you didn’t start painting when you were 12 doesn’t mean it’s too late for you. We set ourselves up for disappointment when we create expectations that are assigned to certain ages.
If you find yourself getting stuck in this line of thinking you can reframe your aspirations by:
Setting reasonable goals. Set goals based on where you are in life, because if it’s not reasonable it’s a wish, not a goal.
Starting with a couple of [reasonable] goals. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You don’t have to tackle everything at the same time.
Giving yourself grace when you don’t meet your goals. Life happens and things don’t always go according to plan.
Removing age limitations from your goals. Don’t use the number, just have your goal.
We can all defy expectations of our age. We don’t have to do anything by the age of ____ unless we want to and have a lifestyle that supports us being able to do that.
Something to Read
It’s Your Birthday and You Can Do What You Want To. This article offers four ideas for how to acknowledge and manage your birthday.
Unhappy Birthday: How I Conquered the Birthday Blues. Birthdays can be challenging. This article walks you through how to deal with challenging emotions that may arise around your birthday.
Older Singles Have Found a New Way to Partner Up: Living Apart. This article explores the concept of “living apart together,” a choice some couples are making to commit to one another without sharing a home.
Journal Prompts
What age related goals have you made in the past? What made you attach that particular age to your goal?
How does it feel when you don’t meet age related goals?
What would it look like for you to approach your goals in a more expansive way without age limitations?
Did something in this newsletter really speak to you? Leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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