The Secret to Great Friendships
Every Thursday at about 7:30 in the morning, I have a friend date. My group of friends make it part of our schedule – we pencil each other in to digest all of the things that are happening in our lives. We’ve been doing it for about six years now, and we have the most lovely conversations every Thursday. Of course, it’s not the only time we talk during the week – but it’s a committed time for us, and it always centers our week.
We need dates with our friends. Many people don’t prioritize their friendships or have the tools to maintain friendships in their lives – but those tools are so needed. Friends are the healthiest part of our community because they’re the people we choose, the family that we collect. I've had some of my friends for as long as 15, 20, 25 years now. Friendship extends our lifespan, gives us something to look forward to, and offers us community and connection.
That’s why I’m thrilled to share a new, 10-part audio series which I’ve created to help all of us build and maintain friendships. All 10 audio sessions are available now exclusively on the Ritual app, a premium wellbeing platform featuring many of my own friends and fellow authors like Alex Elle and Dr. Sara Kuburic.
Some of the tools that we’ll explore together:
How to expand our friendship pool by being intentional about the places we spend time and clear about what we’re looking for in our friendships.
How to overcome our anxiety around vulnerability by opening ourselves up to the idea that people want to get to know us, and our true needs are not a burden.
How to approach conflict with friends - rather than avoiding it, embracing conflict as a part of relationships and navigating it with care and kindness.
How to sustain friendships through different life stages like becoming a parent by continuously evaluating where we’re at and adjusting our friendships accordingly.
My hope is that you’ll leave this series knowing more about yourself as a friend, and with the tools to nurture your existing friendships and build new ones. Anyone can start listening for free, and if it feels like the right fit for you, you can purchase a subscription to get unlimited access to this series and all of Ritual’s wellbeing practices. Join me on the Ritual app to start our work together.
I love the 730 time in the morning. I ended up at a friend’s house for breakfast, facial masks, and a scrabble game at 7 o’clock one morning and we decided that 7 AM is the new 7 PM. It’s so liberating just to admit that we wanna know how our friends are as much as we wanna share how we are. The voyeuristic need of following the story from beginning to end is something we cannot overlook. And texting and Facebook or whatever I’d Tunt do it justice. The quiet, listening, the pauses, but wait wait wait wait I’ve gotta tell you something! They are absolutely irreplaceable and anything other than voice to voice, or even person a person. I think zoom is the exception to the loneliness quotient of screen time. Thank you, Nedra.
Creating healthy friendships is actually a goal I’ve set for myself. I don’t have any friends in my life after having so many failed friendships and being humiliated from them. I’m finally in a space where I’m examining where things went wrong and how I want my future friendships to feel. My mother and grandmother also don’t have friends in their life so I know this is something generational that I’m encouraged to overcome. This article helped me to reshape my idea of friendship