Taking Time Away From Our Phones
How to be more intentional with the way we use our devices
Years ago I wouldn’t have believed that you could mess up a relationship with a co-worker if you didn’t follow them on Instagram or Facebook, but these days social media means a lot to people. We spend a lot of time on these platforms sharing details from our lives like our relationship statuses and the vacations we’re taking.
We use social media as a way to connect with people, but being connected in this way can lead to us being disconnected in some important ways as well. When I share polls on Instagram around things like “What’s something you’re trying to give up?” or “What habit are you trying to let go of?” most people say social media.
The thing is, it’s not entirely about social media, the bigger issue is often about how we interact with our phones, and how accessible those phones make apps like Instagram and Facebook. When we look at the breakdown of our screen time, there are often other apps that are consuming significant chunks of our days as well.
The reality is these devices aren’t going anywhere, and so we have to figure out ways to manage our use. We have to get comfortable having difficult conversations with the people in our lives around how we engage with these devices.
We can let our coworkers know that we prefer to keep our professional and personal lives separate and so we don’t follow coworkers on social media. We can let friends and family know that we don’t respond to calls and texts during certain hours. We have to set up systems and be responsible for letting people know how we use these platforms so that they are aware of our boundaries.
We must also check in with ourselves to see how much we are using our devices and determine what changes we would like to make. Some strategies that I have found helpful in allowing me to be more disconnected are:
Leaving the phone in another room. It is hard to manage not looking at your phone when it’s sitting right next to you. When the phone is in your presence you may find yourself picking it up without even meaning to. It’s like the marshmallow test they conducted with children where they placed marshmallows in a bowl in front of them and observed how long the children could go without taking one. Not using your phone when it is right in front of you can be really hard, but if it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind.
Setting parameters around what tasks are done on the phone. The other day I was booking a trip on my phone. It took me about an hour. After I finished, I said to myself, “This was a desktop job.” It would have taken me 15 minutes if I had done it on my computer. So, now I have a rule for myself that I don’t book travel on my phone. Not everything is meant to be done on that device.
Starting the day offline. I use my iPad for my alarm because I don’t have any social media apps on it. I don’t have many apps of any kind on it actually. I mostly use it as a portable TV. A lot of us use our phones as our alarm clocks, but that can lead to scrolling first thing in the morning. Figure out what you need to put in place to keep from jumping on the phone first thing in the morning.
Designating phone free time. Experiment with device free meals or not multitasking while you’re speaking with someone. Set aside time at the beginning of the day, in the middle of the day and toward the end of the day when it’s time to wind down where you are not using the phone.
Our phones can be great tools. I love being able to use my phone to listen to podcasts, and it is great to have in case of emergencies, but we have to move away from being constantly connected. We must find a rhythm that allows us to use our devices more intentionally.
Journal Prompts
What do you spend the most time doing on your phone?
What is one change you would like to make with the way you use your device?
Read
Make a List: How a Simple Practice Can Change Our Lives and Open Our Hearts, by Marilyn McEntyre. You can find this book on Amazon and Bookshop.
I hope you’re enjoying the Nedra Nuggets newsletter! Please share in the comments how this article resonated with you.
Disclaimer: I receive commissions for purchases made through links for Amazon and Bookshop.