Mental Health Maintenance
Creating systems that support work-life harmony
We often recognize when we are feeling, or starting to feel, burnt out. We’ll notice our exhaustion and make space for time off or time away, and this is important. It’s good to go on vacation. It is wonderful to have a week away from work. The issue is that if nothing about the environment we’re taking a break from changes, then we’re putting ourselves right back in the same situation whenever we return. It will still be hectic and overwhelming when we get back.
As you are mapping out your time, remind yourself that it is ok to:
Take an extra day or two off after you return from vacation.
You can use that as transition time before you get back into the thick of things. Unpack. Recover.
Ease back into working.
Check your email slowly. Pop into the office and don’t take any meetings, or overschedule your day.
Take a vacation at home.
Some of us save up all our relaxation for when we are out of town, but one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is a vacation at home.
Say no to an invitation even if you don’t have anything planned for that time.
It’s ok if you don’t want all of your weekends to be taken up. It is ok to carve out and protect space to just do nothing.
It is important that we take a look at our systems, and determine what we can change so that after our vacation we can still maintain our peace. Just to be clear, I support going on vacation, this is in no way meant to be a break-shaming newsletter. But, we also have to find ways to reduce our stressors before we reach our breaking point.
I am a lover of systems. Some of the systems we can put in place to help manage our stress are:
Do things one-time.
This is a wonderful model I learned from Kendra Adachi from the The Lazy Genius Podcast. For instance, I get my outfits together once a week. I don’t want to think about what I’m going to wear every day. So, I just have to think about it on Sundays.
Find ways to make life easy, or at least easier.
A lot of times people will ask me, “Where did you get that shirt?” but in reality it’s not a shirt, it’s part of a dress or a jumpsuit. I love them because I only have to put on one thing instead of worrying about a top and a bottom.
Lay things out for people.
Sometimes people keep asking us to do things because they’re not clear that we are unable or unwilling to do them. When I was in college getting my Master’s degree, I had a full-time job which meant a lot of my classes were on evenings and weekends. On top of that, I had an internship which meant that I was working six days a week. Saturday was my only day off. I had a friend who was a single parent and when she realized I had that day off she asked if I could babysit for 2 hours every other weekend. I had to tell her no, and explain that that was the only day I had to myself.
Do an energy audit.
We need to recognize when we are approaching our capacity, and can not take on any more. When that happens we are not in a space to help. In the story above, I knew that I could not babysit for my friend on Saturdays without completely depleting myself.
Create a routine or schedule around repeat activities.
I wash and fold my clothes on Thursdays. I don’t have to think about when the laundry is going to get done. It happens on Thursdays.
Set a time limit.
I have a set day to wash my clothes, but I don’t beat myself up if I don’t wash all my clothes on that one day. I do what I can in a set amount of time, and leave the rest for another day. Setting a timer for household tasks can make them feel less daunting, and actually maximize your productivity as opposed to when you have an open-ended time frame to clean up.
We have to create work-life structures that are healthy and functional. This is how we practice mental health maintenance. A lot of what we hear about is mental health recovery and healing, but we also have to put systems in place that allow us to maintain.
Journal Prompt
What systems do you have in your life that help you maintain your mental health?
A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week
‘We’re in a New World’: American Teenagers on Mental Health and How to Cope, photographs and interviews by Robin Hammond; text by Jamie Ducharme, in Time.
Self-Silencing is Making Women Sick, by Maytal Eyal, in Time.
Keep a ‘Pain Journal’ to Track How Much You’ve ‘Learned and Grown,’ Says Harvard Happiness Expert, by Renée Onque on CNBC.
Rethinking Self-Care, by Haley Nahman on her Substack, Maybe Baby.
Lessons in Chemistry. You can watch this show on AppleTV.
Love this! I recently created a system for food. I make a meal plan on Friday or Saturday, then I grocery shop on Saturdays when the stores aren’t as packed. On Sunday, I can ease into the day knowing what meal prep activities I have to do, and I don’t have to stress about shopping AND cooking! I’m 3 weeks in and loving this system.
Nedra, Thank you for writing this. I've recently added a new system to my life. I was becoming frustrated with my inability to complete my goals and basic tasks (e.g., going to the tailor, getting my shoes fixed, etc), so I built a life tracker in Google Sheets. I break down tasks into smaller pieces and attach a priority, a progress level, and a deadline if needed. It sounds very nerdy, but it has helped me so much! I apply the same thoughtfulness and attention to my work, so I figured I could do the same for my life.