How to Find Harmony While Adulting
Does balance exist or is harmony what we’re really seeking?
Oftentimes when we talk about wanting to create more balance in our lives, what we are really seeking is harmony. When I think of the word balance I think of a checkbook. I think of having all things come out equal at the end of the month, and making everything make sense. The fact of the matter is, adulting makes very little sense. It is one of the most, if not the most, nonsensical thing I’ve ever encountered. As a result, our lives are complicated because there are so many moving pieces to remember. Finding balance in the midst of adulting is unrealistic.
Harmony allows us to figure out how to do the things we have to do in a better way, whereas balance prompts us to try to give equal attention to every aspect of our lives. I don’t believe things can always be equal. If you try to give 25% here and 25% there, something will inevitably fall through the cracks. That being said, it is possible to manage your responsibilities and relationships in a cohesive manner that works for you. It is possible to achieve work-life harmony.
Here are some things we can do to streamline our lives and make them easier to allow more space for harmony:
Create a routine or schedule. Waking up at the same time every day, and following the same set of steps on a daily basis frees up brain space that can be used on other things.
Minimize the number of decisions you have to make and make decisions in advance. I typically have two things I will eat for breakfast. It’s oatmeal on mornings when I don’t have a lot of time and egg whites and hashbrowns on mornings when I have more time. Some people create capsule wardrobes to minimize the thought they have to put into getting dressed everyday. There are folks who always wear the same hairstyle. You don’t have to cut corners in every area of your life, and everybody’s time-saver is not going to be the same, but making decisions like these ahead of time can save you a lot of energy.
Automate some of your decisions. You can set reminders for yourself, either on your device, or in your planner, for important dates like birthdays so you don’t forget them. Sign up for subscription services to get refills on frequently used products so you don’t have to remember to reorder them.
Taking these steps can allow you more space for maintaining your relationships and it invites more ease. Figuring out how to uncomplicate adulting will go a long way toward creating a more harmonious life.
Journal Prompts
What things could make your life feel easier? What decisions can you make in advance that would lighten your load as an adult?
How do you know when you’ve achieved work-life harmony? What does that feel like for you?
Read
Somebody’s Daughter: A Memoir, by Ashely C. Ford. This book is great. I already love it and I’m about halfway through. You can find it on Amazon and Bookshop.
To Enjoy Life More Embrace Anticipation, by Holly Burns in The New York Times.
Watch
Biography: Bobby Brown. Bobby Brown’s Don’t Be Cruel is one of my favorite R&B albums. I live for the celebration of the man who ushered in the New Jack Swing. You can watch the docu-series on A&E.
Listen
Most Violence is Not Caused by Mental Illness on The Daily podcast. In this episode host Michael Barbaro speaks with psychiatrist Amy Barnhorst about the connection between gun violence and mental health. You can listen to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts.
What aspects of your life would you like to give more attention? What strategies have you used to create more space for them? Tell me about it in the comments.
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