Give What You Can, When You Can

Exploring generosity beyond gift giving

I was raised in a culture where if you give someone something, they need to give you something of equal measure, and I’ve had to unlearn the idea that that is necessary. If I buy someone a crockpot, I don’t need them to buy me one. Matter of fact, I already have one. Just because I bought our movie tickets this time, doesn’t mean you need to buy them next time. Giving doesn’t need to be transactional.  

We have to consider that different people have different ways of expressing generosity. For instance, I don’t go out of my way to send my friends Christmas gifts. I like to be generous throughout the year. If I’ve heard a friend talking about having cold feet, I’m going to send them some wool socks from L.L. Bean on a regular Tuesday. 

I’m also big on regifting. Everybody’s time on earth is going to expire at some point. We can’t keep everything. If I have something that doesn’t work for me, that might be helpful to someone else or bring them joy, I deeply believe in giving it away. At the time of this writing I am giving away a dishwasher. Now, I love this dishwasher. I’m actually sad that I have to part with it. It has three racks and it’s super quiet, but I’m doing some things with my kitchen and I have to get a new one, so I’m passing this one on to someone else. 

It’s important to remember that there are many ways we can be generous. We can give of ourselves to our communities and the people we care about without spending any money. Here are some examples:

• Volunteer your time

Spend some time helping out at a local senior center or homeless shelter.

• Give of yourself

Donate blood the next time your community is hosting a drive.

• Share kind words

Use your energy toward a small act of kindness can change a person’s day or even their life.

• Use skills you have to help someone

If there is something you do well that could benefit someone else, offer to help them free of charge. 

• Give away things you already own

Donate things that you don’t use that would serve someone else well.

Generosity is a way of connecting with people. It’s not always a gift. It isn’t always financial. One of the biggest ways we can be generous is with our time and energy. If you are talking with someone, texting them, or holding space for them in some way, you are being generous. You are likely being generous in all kinds of ways and just not noticing it. 

Some examples of generosity are:

• Helping a friend plan their birthday party

• Watching your niece/nephew/cousin

• Sending someone a text to let them know you’re thinking of them

• Checking in on someone when they’ve been having a rough week

When we have the means and the desire to support others, especially folks who enrich our lives, we should. I read somewhere that when we think about supporting something or someone, we should do it in that moment because if we wait too long, we forget. Ask yourself, how can I be generous today?

Journal Prompt

Generosity can take various forms depending on each individual. How do you express your own way of giving?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• Can Everyone Take a Sabbatical? by Tish Harrison Warren, in The New York Times.

• True Detective: Season 4. Beware of watching True Detective as a bedtime crime thriller. I found enjoyment in the first three seasons and was thrilled to see Jodie Foster in the latest installment. You can stream new episodes on Max every Sunday.

• Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control), by Charlotte Lieberman in The New York Times