Are We Doing Too Much?

Managing our ever-growing to-do lists

I love to pop into Barnes & Noble or my local bookstore and check out all the new self-help books. The time-management books are my favorite. There are so many articles about how to do things better, and cram all of this stuff into the four hours we have before and after work. 

Often, I have to remind myself that we just don’t have enough time. We’re not going to get to the end of our to-do list. I joke and say, “I’m going to die with a to-do list,” but it’s true. There is always something to do. As soon as we finish one thing, we find something else to add, so there’s no point of completion. 

I’m someone who doesn’t really sit down until I go to bed. I’m up doing things. I’m putting pads on the chair legs so they don’t scrape the floor or I’m wiping off the table. I’ll sit down for a minute and watch TV, but then I’m back up. Sometimes I have to tell myself, “Stop doing stuff, just stop.”

We have to learn to prioritize and ask ourselves what is urgent and what can I leave or put down for now? Sometimes when I wash and dry my clothes, I have to remind myself that they’re ok sitting there in that basket. I might have to go and dig around in there to find my socks, but they’re clean. Having clean clothes was the important thing. Folding the clothes and putting them away might be a task for two days from now. 

So how do we balance doing things along with actually living our lives?

• Treat your to-do list as an idea-of-do list. 

  • The items on there aren’t set in stone.  Unless it’s a deadline, it’s a suggestion. It’s a list of things you could do today, but maybe you could also do them tomorrow or the next day. 

• Distinguish between a crisis and a nice-to-do. 

  • When things come up, put them in their proper place. Ask yourself if this is really something you need to address right this instant or even today. 

• Figure out what feels reasonable and healthy for you. 

  • Do you need to skip going to socialize with people because you haven’t done the dishes yet? Do your floors need to be clean before people come over? You have to decide if that makes sense personally. 

All the stuff that we expect ourselves to do sometimes can’t be completed in a day, a week, or maybe even a month. There’s always going to be this rotation of stuff that’s part of being an adult. Many of us didn’t realize there was going to be so much to do. We wanted to be adults because we thought it meant fun and freedom. We didn’t know we were going to have all this responsibility and accountability. But we have to sit down sometimes. We have to say I’m going to go out with my friends even though I have five more things on my to-do list that I could do today. We have to build in that space for fun and freedom too. 

Journal Prompt

What is something (or some things) on your to-do list that you don’t need to do today? How would it feel to leave it for tomorrow?

A Few Things That Caught My Attention This Week

• Daily Rituals: Women At Work, by Mason Currey. This book explores the work schedules and rhythms of female artists. It discusses how constant creation can impact their relationships and happiness, leading to severe mental health issues. The book is available on Amazon and Bookshop. You can find this book on Amazon and Bookshop. 

• Like Many Men I Had Few Close Friends. So I Began a Friendship Quest, by Leonard Felson in The Washington Post. 

• The Beauty of a Silent Walk, by Christina Caron in The New York Times. 

• How I Handle Busy Season, on The Lazy Genius podcast. You can listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream podcasts.